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Old 04-14-2008, 07:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Default PLEASE help me translate my poem "Nobody Noticed" into French

Kindly help me translate my poem "Nobody Noticed" into French, Tnx!

- NOBODY NOTICED -

There he was,
standing so manly,
waiting for somebody to pass by.

There he was,
running his hand through his unruly hair
with smoothness that killed me.

And there he was,
looking absently at people walking by,
looking absolutely bored
and his eyes caught mine.

His deep-set eyes
that sparkled like ocean
under bright stars on a moonlight night
and nobody noticed.

Nobody noticed
that he smiled at me
and slowly walked towards the door where i stood.

Nobody noticed
that he looked straight into my hesitant eyes,
straight into my beating soul.

He took my quivering hand
and laced it in his.

Nobody noticed
because everybody was dancing
and drinking and kissing.

Nobody noticed
that he touched my face
and he held me close,
that he tilted my head back,
and he whispered sweetly to me,
shared with me sweet undying words
that i long to hear.

For no reason, my heart began to rattle,
my breathing hasten,
and my thoughts wouldn't settle,
I've tried to ignore it,
but it just grows stronger,
reaching the limit where I could hold it no longer.

He, the infamous provoker.
He peppered my world with his poisoned tongue.

For one brief moment
I wish time would stop
and forever feel this way,
asking God, "Is he the one?"
He makes me feel like I'm in heaven.
He turns me on with just his voice.

For that short time, I feel so special.
Giving me this necklace,
as an understanding of two hearts.
I could never forget that moment.
We laughed for no other reason,
but we were together.

In that one moment that seemed to last forever.
One moment that ended just as it began.
I don't know how he walked away that sudden
I could have run after him,
and say how much i love him.
Bu i stood glued to that sacred ground,
and watched him hold another girl's hand.

For one moment, i felt bliss and be frustrated,
that i've learned to love him in just a sec.
How could i miss him
and hate him at the same time?

The pain he caused me is still tearing me apart,
asking God once more, "Is he my first heartache?"

Here goes the feelings that I hide,
out bursting with love as ample as the tide,
thrusting my mind to believe that it's true,

Oh, that jerk, if he only knew...
That I would still remember the time we last met,
and relive the memories of that special moment,
pausing on the scenery where I see him smile,
and strive to prolong it even just for a while.

But no, that time has passed,
that beautiful one moment made me realized,
there wasn't going to be more.
There wasn't going to be more with him.
I must admit this tale with him must end.
This beautiful tale that ripped me apart,
and gnawed at my soul.

Nobody can blame me for feeling this way,
because nobody noticed,
that once, he captured my lonely aching heart.
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Old 04-14-2008, 11:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Là il était,
la réputation de si viril,
l'attente de quelqu'un pour passer à côté.

Là il était,
la course à pied de sa main par ses cheveux indisciplinés
avec l'aspect lisse qui m'a tué.

Et là il était,
le fait de regarder d'un air absent les gens passant,
regard absolument ennuyé
et ses yeux ont attrapé le mien.

Ses yeux creux
cela a étincelé comme l'océan
sous les étoiles brillantes sur une nuit de clair de lune
et personne n'a remarqué.

Rien Personne n'a remarqué
qu'il m'ait souri
et marchait lentement vers la porte où j'ai été.

Rien Personne n'a remarqué
qu'il ait semblé droit dans mes yeux hésitant,
directement dans mon âme de battement.

Il a pris ma main tremblant
et laced cela dans son.

Rien Personne n'a remarqué
parce que chacun dansait
et le boire et le fait d'embrasser.

Rien Personne n'a remarqué
qu'il ait touché mon visage
et il m'a tenu près,
qu'il ait penché ma tête en arrière,
et il m'a chuchoté doucement,
partagé avec moi les mots éternels doux
que je longtemps pour entendre.

Rien Personne n'a remarqué
parce que chacun dansait
et le boire et le fait d'embrasser.

Rien Personne n'a remarqué
qu'il ait touché mon visage
et il m'a tenu près,
qu'il ait penché ma tête en arrière,
et il m'a chuchoté doucement,
partagé avec moi les mots éternels doux
que je longtemps pour entendre.

Depuis un moment bref
Je veux que le temps s'arrête
et sentez pour toujours cette voie,
en demandant à Dieu, "est-ce qu'il est celui ?"
Il me fait avoir l'impression que je suis dans le ciel.
Il m'allume avec juste sa voix.

Pour ce temps court, je me sens si spécial.
L'offre de moi ce collier,
comme une compréhension de deux coeurs.
Je ne pouvais jamais oublier ce moment.
Nous n'avons ri pour nulle autre raison,
mais nous étions ensemble.

Dans cet un moment qui a semblé durer pour toujours.
Un moment qui a fini comme il a commencé.
Je ne sais pas comment il s'est éloigné que soudain
Je pourrais l'avoir couru,
et dites combien je l'aime.
Bu j'ai été collé à cette terre sacrée,
et regardé lui tiennent la main d'une autre fille.

Depuis un moment, j'ai senti la félicité et être réduit à néant,
que j'aie appris à l'aimer dans juste un sec.
Comment pourrait je le manquer
et détestez-le en même temps ?

La douleur il m'a provoqué me déchire toujours,
la demande à Dieu encore une fois, "Est il mon premier chagrin de coeur ?"

Ici va les sentiments que je cache,
du fait de rompre avec l'amour aussi ample que la marée,
le fait d'enfoncer mon esprit pour croire que c'est vrai,

Oh, cette secousse, s'il savait seulement ...
Que je me souvienne toujours du temps nous durons rencontrés,
et revivez les souvenirs de ce moment spécial,
le fait de marquer une pause sur le paysage où je le vois sourire,
et efforcez-vous le prolonger même juste pendant quelque temps.

Mais non, ce temps a passé,
ce bel un moment m'a rendu réalisé,
il n'allait pas y avoir plus.
Il n'allait pas y avoir plus avec lui.
Je dois reconnaître que cette histoire avec lui doit finir.
Cette belle histoire qui m'a déchiqueté,
et a rongé mon âme.

Rien Personne ne peut me reprocher sentir cette voie,
parce que personne n'a remarqué,
cela une fois, il a capturé mon coeur ayant mal solitaire.

I'm in some kind of hurry and maybe I did some mistakes. It would be great If a nativ speaker of French will correct it. Have a nice day
__________________
Πάρε φιλιά, πάρε καρδιά και μη νοιαστείς για μένα.
Πάρε ό,τι ζει κι άσε με εκεί
μόνο στο τίποτα...
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Old 04-14-2008, 04:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sorry igrec, but the translation seems too literal to make sense in french. It gives something really weird.

That said, I have no choice to give it a try by my own... at least, the first half of this very long text. Hoping Igrec or someone else can complete.





- NOBODY NOTICED -

There he was,
standing so manly,
waiting for somebody to pass by.
...Il était là,
...Se tenant droit, tout viril,
...Dans l'attente de quelqu'un.


There he was,
running his hand through his unruly hair
with smoothness that killed me.
...Il etait là,
...Passant sa main dans ses cheveux hirsutes,
...D'un geste langoureux qui m'a complètement séduite


And there he was,
looking absently at people walking by,
looking absolutely bored
and his eyes caught mine.
...Et il etait là,
...Le regard absent face aux passants,
...L'air blasé,
...Puis ses yeux s'arrêtèrent sur les miens


His deep-set eyes
that sparkled like ocean
under bright stars on a moonlight night
and nobody noticed.
...Son regard si profond,
...Aux reflets d'un ocean illuminé
...Par les étoiles au clair de lune.
...Mais personne ne remarqua.


Nobody noticed
that he smiled at me
and slowly walked towards the door where i stood.
...Personne ne remarqua
...Qu'il me sourait
...Et que lentement il s'avanca vers l'endroit où je me tenais


Nobody noticed
that he looked straight into my hesitant eyes,
straight into my beating soul.
...Personne ne remarqua
...Qu'il percait mon regard hésitant,
...Jusqu'à mon coeur en chamade.


He took my quivering hand
and laced it in his.
...Il prit ma main tremblante
...Et la serra dans la sienne.


Nobody noticed
because everybody was dancing
and drinking and kissing.
...Personne ne remarqua
...Parce que tous dansaient,
...buvaient et s'embrassaient.


Nobody noticed
that he touched my face
and he held me close,
that he tilted my head back,
and he whispered sweetly to me,
shared with me sweet undying words
that i long to hear.
...Personne ne remarqua
...Qu'il touchait mon visage
...Et qu'il me serrait contre lui,
...Qu'il penchait ma tête en arrière
...en me soupirant doucement à l'oreille,
...partageant avec moi ces mots langoureux
...que j'espérais tant entendre.



For no reason, my heart began to rattle,
my breathing hasten,
and my thoughts wouldn't settle,
I've tried to ignore it,
but it just grows stronger,
reaching the limit where I could hold it no longer.
...Sans raison apparente, mon coeur se mit à vaciller,
...ma respiration devint haletante
...mes pensées en déroute,
...J'essayais de l'ignorer,
...mais l'émotion ne fit que croitre
...à point tel que je ne pus résister davantage.



He, the infamous provoker.
He peppered my world with his poisoned tongue.
...Lui, l'infâme séducteur.
...Il parsemait mon existence de ses paroles troublantes.




For one brief moment
I wish time would stop
and forever feel this way,
asking God, "Is he the one?"
He makes me feel like I'm in heaven.
He turns me on with just his voice.
...Pour un bref instant
...J'ai souhaité que le temps s'arrete
...et que le sentiment présent m'habite pour toujours,
...Implorant Dieu, "Est-ce bien celui que j'attends ?"
...Avec lui, je me sens comme au paradis.
...Le seul son de sa voix suffit à m'allumer.


.... (and so on...)




For that short time, I feel so special.
Giving me this necklace,
as an understanding of two hearts.
I could never forget that moment.
We laughed for no other reason,
but we were together.

In that one moment that seemed to last forever.
One moment that ended just as it began.
I don't know how he walked away that sudden
I could have run after him,
and say how much i love him.
Bu i stood glued to that sacred ground,
and watched him hold another girl's hand.

For one moment, i felt bliss and be frustrated,
that i've learned to love him in just a sec.
How could i miss him
and hate him at the same time?

The pain he caused me is still tearing me apart,
asking God once more, "Is he my first heartache?"

Here goes the feelings that I hide,
out bursting with love as ample as the tide,
thrusting my mind to believe that it's true,

Oh, that jerk, if he only knew...
That I would still remember the time we last met,
and relive the memories of that special moment,
pausing on the scenery where I see him smile,
and strive to prolong it even just for a while.

But no, that time has passed,
that beautiful one moment made me realized,
there wasn't going to be more.
There wasn't going to be more with him.
I must admit this tale with him must end.
This beautiful tale that ripped me apart,
and gnawed at my soul.

Nobody can blame me for feeling this way,
because nobody noticed,
that once, he captured my lonely aching heart.
...Personne ne peut désapprouver mes sentiments à son endroit,
...Parce que personne n'a remarqué
...Qu'il n'a que cueilli un coeur solitaire et délaissé.
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Old 04-15-2008, 09:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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yup, i luv to compose poems, thank you very much in translating it, i will give this poem to a friend, she requested me to compose this poem. it's a story of her first love, actually
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Old 04-15-2008, 06:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It looks indeed as a fisrt love. I presume your friend reads french. Give us feedback on her reaction.
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