Videogame poem English--> German translation

[Bigbadwolfe]

I'm sorry if this isn't the usual type of request but I really need some help, and I heard this place was the best at translation.

This is a poem I've written myself to a short story contest for a free to play game called Dream of Mirror Online.

My guildies liked it so much that they wanted it translated into german.
The reason why I'm posting into a lyrics translation forum is because this short story is written in rhyme, and I don't know if it's possible to keep it rhyme after translation.
If that is too much, a literal German translation will suffice, thank you for any help!

This is the story of a Merc*, Swordsman*, Wizard*, Doc*, and Fencer*.
Their group was short only one member.
“With a Musician* our party will be full of life”
“No way, the last one ran off with my wife!”
“With a Thief* we can gain some extra loot”
“To them its finder’s keepers so give him the boot”
“Invite that Shaman*, his magic is the best”
“Sorry this is an AoE* party, he can go solo like the rest”
“A Merchant*’s wealth redefines the term ‘Class’**”
“They’re always charging me for insurance so I’ll pass”
“Hey, invite your Hunter* friend? It’ll be fun”
“But he hasn’t left his home since they nerfed stun*!”
“Why can’t I send anymore invites to that sexy Dancer*?”
“She probably blocked*** you because you won't take ‘No’ for an answer”
Finally they took the Martial Artist*,
because he threatened to hit them with Far Fist*.

*These are in-game names or terms that do not need to be translated
if you don't want to
**This statement is a play on the english word class both designating the type of character job (Merchant), and social role (aristocract)
*** blocked as in the internet term for disabling messages being received from a specific annoying person, otherwise known as /ignore, blacklisted.

I hope you guys can help me, and if you want to change up the actual words so that it still rhymes that would be great. If not, could I get some hints on how to do that myself along with the literal translation?

[Steena]

Let's try a literal translation first we'll see if we can get back a rhyme structure then Do you understand German?

I think it's close to impossible to keep the rhyme...

This is the story of a Merc*, Swordsman*, Wizard*, Doc*, and Fencer*.
Dies ist die Geschichte von Merc, Swordsman, Wizard, Doc und Fencer.
Their group was short only one member.
Nur einer fehlte in ihrer Gruppe
“With a Musician* our party will be full of life”
"Mit einem Musician (that's Musiker in German) wären wir komplett"
“No way, the last one ran off with my wife!”
"Bitte nicht, der letzte hat sich mit meiner Frau davon gemacht"
“With a Thief* we can gain some extra loot”
"Mit einem Thief (Dieb) könnten wir noch mehr Profit machen"
“To them its finder’s keepers so give him the boot”
"Für die gilt, wer's findet, der behält's, also schick ihn weg"
“Invite that Shaman*, his magic is the best”
"Lasst uns diesen Shaman (Schamanen) fragen, er ist der beste Magier"


“Sorry this is an AoE* party, he can go solo like the rest”
"Sorry wir sind eine AoE (What does this stand for?) Gruppe, der kommt auch allein klar wie alle anderen"
“A Merchant*’s wealth redefines the term ‘Class’**”
"Es ist der Reichtum eines Kaufmanns, der das Wort "Klasse" neu definiert"
“They’re always charging me for insurance so I’ll pass”
"Die knöpfen mir nur immer Geld ab für Versicherungen, da setze ich aus"
“Hey, invite your Hunter* friend? It’ll be fun”
"Hey, frag doch deinen Freund Hunter (Jäger) Das wäre sicher lustig."
“But he hasn’t left his home since they nerfed stun*!”
"Aber der hat das Haus nicht mehr verlassen, seit sie ... (I don't get this, can you explain?)
“Why can’t I send anymore invites to that sexy Dancer*?”
"Warum kann ich denn nicht mehr diese hübsche Dancer (Tänzerin) fragen?"
(or maybe better: "Warum kann ich denn dieser hübschen Tänzerin nichts mehr schreiben?")
“She probably blocked*** you because you won't take ‘No’ for an answer”
"Sie hat dich vielleicht abgewiesen, weil du "Nein" nicht als Antwort angenommen hast."
Finally they took the Martial Artist*,
Am Ende haben sie den Martial Artist gewählt (Kampfsportler)
because he threatened to hit them with Far Fist*.
Denn er drohte ihnen, sie mit Far Fist zu trefffen (mit der langen Faust?)

[Bigbadwolfe]

Wow your response was very fast, and extremely helpful.
I showed the translation to my german friends and they said they liked it story very much.
Unfortunately you're right it seems that the translated statements don't come close to rhyming. It would be far easier to just create new statements in german that go together instead trying to make these work.

I do understand a bit of german, but I can't speak it and it takes me a while to translate, however I'm learning a lot just from this one thread.

AoE stands for Area of Effect, but an AoE party is basically a group of classes that specialize in killing multiple little enemies at once, compared to the Shaman that is better at killing one big monster. It's not meant offensive.

Did you like my story by the way? Even if it had a lot of in-game references, I hope it was good enough that normal people would like it.

[Steena]

Originally Posted by Bigbadwolfe

It would be far easier to just create new statements in german that go together instead trying to make these work.

You're absolutely right I guess. When I had finished the translation I tried to work it out but it is not really possible.. German is more complex than English (as the translation already displays during some of the lines) - what looks like 4 words in English will be 9 in a German translation to catch the full meaning.

I did not understand much of it as you can see it's fine I guess, I always wonder how you all manage these poem things.. I am made for writing.. but not for writing poems!

[Bigbadwolfe]

Even if you didn't understand the story, from my limited German it sounds like you translated it pretty well, better than anybody else lol.

Yeah German does seem to be very complex, but it's still a lot easier than japanese kanji X_X. I can only make simple statements, but I will keep trying and I'll get it eventually, not unlike playing the guitar. Well that's not really a good reference since I don't know how to play Guitar either.

Yeah I think it's easier to rhyme and make music in American English at least, because it is a mixed pot of words from all other languages, and the result is having 50 different ways of saying the exact same thing lol.

Also correct me if I'm wrong, but because we use less words overall, English sentences were a lot more flexible. Part of the issue with this Story was that I had to keep it at 150 words length maximum. In order to achieve this I simply kept eliminating words that were used for clarification and emphasis of a topic, but weren't mandatory in completing a basic english sentence. If I had written this naturally, this would probably be closer to 200-250 words.

[Steena]

Originally Posted by Bigbadwolfe

Yeah I think it's easier to rhyme and make music in American English at least, because it is a mixed pot of words from all other languages, and the result is having 50 different ways of saying the exact same thing lol.

I never realized this but maybe that's because - after all - it's not my mother tongue. It's far easier for me to express things in German most of the times and I prefer to write my stories in German but mails and stuff like that in English.. it's faster, you are right!

Originally Posted by Bigbadwolfe

Part of the issue with this Story was that I had to keep it at 150 words length maximum.

Oh I hate these limits! I just can't express something in a short way when writing. I think you did justice to the 150 words!

[Lyssa]

I tryed to translate with rhymes, but the 4th line doesn't match with the third...
Maybe if I change some words but than it's not exactly the same meaning

This is the story of a Merc*, Swordsman*, Wizard*, Doc*, and Fencer*.
Das ist die Geschichte von Merc*, Swordsman*, Wizard*, Doc*, and Fencer
Their group was short only one member.
Deren Truppe war nur eines Mitglieds kleiner
“With a Musician* our party will be full of life”
Mit einem Musician wäre unsere party voller Leben
“No way, the last one ran off with my wife!”
Auf keinen Fall, letzterer rannte mit meiner Frau von dannen



I think you'll have to find a totally new poem in German XD