can someone plez give me an opinion on these sayings that i wrote....
"I run and hide when no-one's there but yet ur face will still appear, At night alone I want to hold u, crying, waiting to be unfolded by u, I think of what u ment to me and how I thought things used to be. To u I was jus the one who was there i don't think u ever realy cared. This is what rips my heart out, I wanted it to be luv between us, but it ws jus lust. The thing that kills me, drives me to the ground. I gasp for air and when I think I could reach the top u flood my mind. I think of u and that wonderful night, the night that change from dark to light. Depression has taken over my life and now it all reminds me of u. I miss u lots I really do. I will not die for u but i will never be whole again. thank u for this.
thanx
__________________
symbolism=something that stands for more than jus itself
Hiya! I think that, that is really good! Very heartfelt, you can actually feel the emotion pouring through your words! They're very powerful and meaningful! Excellent!
__________________
Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?
like twisted nails driven into an open wound that seeced to heal, thorns percing the skin as if it wa paper soaked with tears. m emotions run like my life has been torn out of my chest. The pain throbs over and over like an infected tooth pounding in ur head, reminding me that its all over, that there is nothing left for my here.
__________________
symbolism=something that stands for more than jus itself
i really like , that's great ! it seems to me that only a person who really felt that, could write sth like this/ i do unerstand u so so so much ........... believe me/ Alia
***
As a matter of fact, our world is a Gothic castle, to knock through thick walls of which to something is practically impossible, that’s why if I’m tired of sunlight I shall pay all the bills of life just this way... At a black pitchy night, when the skin feels the darkness, I shall reach the top of the castle, turn my back to nothing, look at the Moon which still tries to lighten the world after so many millennia, though it understands that it will have no force enough... We are similar in some way: I wanted to do the same, but it didn’t take me thousands of years to understand that it is impossible... My left leg touches a chasm... It’s strange, no fear, only the fatal magnetism... The flight... The landing... I want the Moon to die away, to be filled with the red colour... I want the walls and the sharp tops of the castle, ruthlessly piercing the dead sky, to float, soften, become round, and then lose their shapes at the last moment... Let it be an optical illusion, but it is the only way to change the world...
***
Green curtains... Everything in a distance of two meters from me is filled up with music... I am a part of it, despite the fact that this music is only the shell-headphones in my ears... There is some blood on my finger... A silly deep wound... Not deeper, than the one in my soul... And what about making it so that there will be more blood? Recently I have it done to my soul ... Sharp, minute, terribly pleasant pain... And a painful moaning a little bit higher than the edges that already lasts during the second day ... Damn green curtains... They make me return into not less damn daily reality... And I have thought it will be easier... In fact I have received all I wanted! It appears that I have wanted more... I myself tore up the wound that had already begun to close... I hoped, this time it would be healed by you... I was mistaken... The blade in my skin... Blood... Down... Was mistaken... Blood... Down and down... The hand is already drowning... Pomegranate juice which the juice extractor - life presses out of me... The blade is going two steps lower... No wounds, no treatment... I don't worry about your conscience... One more step... Blood again... The last one is left... I cannot... It's not because of you; you are not worth it... Green curtains and their call to daily reality... They have prevented me again... or maybe... have saved...
***
White strip below... Precisely on the width of my foot... It begins interrupting, just like my life does... Sharp hooters, piercing darkness without any result, shoot at me... Past the target... Again... A step aside is impossible... As on a rope... There can be only the last step aside... The wind is caressing my skin... I know, I am sure, that this wind was exactly the one that caressed you as well. I feel your smell; the wind has kept your shape... This shape is dissolving in me, dulling the pain... And maybe I have imagined it? Maybe i have imagined this love? Maybe I have imagined the life itself? I will never learn it... I have nobody to answer me... Everything, that I have is a grey tape, a little period of time and a strip - guidebook that interrupts more and more often ... What will I do, when it comes to an end?.. I know myself... A step aside... I will allow the hooter to get at me...
__________________
Her şey olacak... Everything will be... Всё будет... Усё будзе...
bullet to my valentine
I only have one problem and that is the line " I wanted it to be luv between us, but it ws jus lust." I would see that as you being more victimized. He/she wanted only lust, but you were in it for love. My alteration would be "you wanted to use me when I wanted love", or something like that. See, I can't write poetry or lyrics, so please don't take my critisism to heart. Otherwise, really liked it.612chris
wow. you deffinitly just made my night. that was so intence i felt like you were saying exactly what i needed to say. i can so relate! like exactly! im sure we're prbly not in the same situation but that deffinitly sounds like it. thats incredible
dude i olmost whent gothic when i wrote stuff like that u shouldtry glueing a peice of paper 2 a soccer ball and kicking the stuffing out of it or just play soccer defense. but other than that cool
dude i olmost whent gothic when i wrote stuff like that u shouldtry glueing a peice of paper 2 a soccer ball and kicking the stuffing out of it or just play soccer defense. but other than that cool
nice i will really have to try that some time
__________________
symbolism=something that stands for more than jus itself
i need opinions on these sayings
)) Alia
Linear Mode
