Check this, please

[jabbermikkey]

English-speaking people, would you check this lyrics (if it's adequate), please

In snowy street
In night so dark and sad
I walk alone
Black lonesome cat

I lightly tread
Through plashes of streetlights
I watch your lives
And watch your lies

Don’t need your hands
Your strokes and your false sympathy
Walk by myself


I’m an empty house
in the very end of town
with garden gone wild
with blinds down

My clocks are mute
And all years are as one
So here I am
The home for none

I don't need your rooms
Full of the steps and laughing
Stand by myself



I’m a green-eyed Queen
With evening cup of tea
With ghost of a smile
The charm of style

Electric sun
And little pocket stars
I’m not the one
I an The One

I don’t need your call
Your ****ing “See you late”
Live by myself…



thank you!

[bluejacket]

[quote=jabbermikkey;652655]English-speaking people, would you check this lyrics (if it's adequate), please

In snowy street
In night so dark and sad
I walk alone
Black lonesome cat [A solitary black cat]

I lightly tread
Through plashes of streetlights [flashes? or Splashes] Do you mean flickering streetlights?
- you could use pools of streetlights, but it depends what mood you want - flickering is edgy, pools is calm.]
I watch your lives ['Your life' if you are referring to one person, 'lives' if it is people.]
And watch your lies

Don’t need your hands [I don't need....]
Your strokes and your false sympathy [your touch or your fake sympathy]
Walk by myself [I can walk by myself]
I’m an empty house
in the very end of town [at the very end of town]...
with garden gone wild [with a garden..... ]
with blinds down [with the blinds.....]

My clocks are mute [My clocks have stopped]
And all years are as one [And all the years are as one]
So here I am
The home for none [A home for none]

I don't need your rooms
Full of the steps and laughing [Full of footsteps and laughter]
Stand by myself [I can stand by myself]


I’m a green-eyed Queen
With evening cup of tea [With an evening cup of tea]
With ghost of a smile [With the ghost of a smile]
The charm of style

Electric sun
And little pocket stars
I’m not the one
I an The One [I am The One]

I don’t need your call
Your ****ing “See you late” ['See you later']
Live by myself… - [I can live by myself]


Hope this helps!

[namratasnv]

Hi,

Well, the lyrics are good and it is no doubt very good I dont find any mistakes here as, the lines are good.


Thanks!