Hi, just something I knocked up a couple of hours ago. The song has only 2 different parts. Verse 1 and Verse 2. A slight change of chords and ryhthm is all that differentiates the two. The lyrics are posted in the order of the song which is V1/V2/V1/V2 etc etc

Lets hear what you think

Dead Love

It doesn't matter anymore
As soon as you left I locked the door
I told myself I'd never miss you
But it's not just your face and your voice, it's the things that you'd do

Like the kiss on my cheek in the morning
Just to let me know that you adore me
And a post-it note left in my briefcase
I'd only just gone but it said you already missed my face

It doesn't matter anymore
As I clear out your clothes from our bottom drawer
I tell myself I could be happy alone
But I spend all day and all night just sat by the phone

Just waiting for you to call me
And tell me that you still adore me
But theres no more notes in my work stuff
It's hard to take but we both know its dead love

It doesn't matter anymore
This loaded gun will help me for sure
I tell myself life aint worth this pain
As I lift it up to my head, I slowly take aim

Thinking is this the best way to go
In a bloody mess all on my own
But then maybe at least you will see
That my lifes not worth living if my lifes not you and me

It doesn't matter anymore
As my lifeless body drops to the floor
It doesnt matter anymore
As my lifeless body drops to the floor

Finally I've let you go
As I drift down to hell just my soul
Battered and bruised to the core
But at least this means I can't love you anymore

Like. Woah man, I-I dunno what to say^^ it's awesome, are you new here?
Dude, I wanna see more of your work! Lmao! ^^


Shadow---

Originally Posted by ShadowLeeSharp

Like. Woah man, I-I dunno what to say^^ it's awesome, are you new here?
Dude, I wanna see more of your work! Lmao! ^^


Shadow---

Yeah just signed up pal. Ive commented on one of yours, its constructive critisicm and I want you to keep trying. Anyway you don't have to please me, be happy with what you wrte thats the main thing but always look to improve. Thanks by the way, not sure about the LMAO bit tho!!

Haha, yeah I seem to use that term a lot. I needa stop tho x)

And welcome to the forum man heh heh

I love the story it tells, no matter how dark it is. Looking forward to more posts!

Thanks PZ. I don't think I have ever written anything this dark.....ever. yet this came spilling out of me earlier on. no idea where it came from!

Anyone else for feedback?

The lyrics are dark and they tell a sad story but they are good. Hope to see more posts from you.

shameless bump!!

I like this, I imagine this being like a soulful/light rock song?
What genre do you see it as?

Really great writing.

Best lyric
"
It doesn't matter anymore
As my lifeless body drops to the floor
"

well done!

Originally Posted by seuisdead

Really great writing.

Best lyric
"
It doesn't matter anymore
As my lifeless body drops to the floor
"

well done!

thank you very much

you casn hear the song at www.myspace.com/mashituprequests

plesasae excuse the singing tho

Wow forgot about this one!

This is brilliant, you really do know how to write.

Thank you very much!

really, really awesome song. Sad and tragic, but beautifully written. It sends the emotion you're feeling right to the reader and for me that's a big WIN. Great job man.

miss you, my dear dad~

I like how reading these lyrics sets a certain tone, then hearing the track on your myspace gives it that "happy song" contrast. I always like tunes that sound more pretty or mellow, and then the lyrics are morbid as ****. Sort of like Tyler by the Toadies, sounds like a pretty love song, but it's basically about... well... stalker rape. Not that I'm advocating stalker rape...

Anyways dude, the last line sums it up nicely: "But at least this means I can't love you anymore" Ain't love a *****?

I'm just going to bump this one up for now, I have a couple of new pieces to post. Was hoping Doug might see this and give me their very welcome feedback.

Hellloooooooo lol