free at last

[clastud588]

i wrote this last night and i've never had much luck with lyrics, i don't think this one sucks completely but i'd like soneone else's opinion. it's a speed metal song, mostly screamed.

this is the last time I sell my soul to keep myself blind to the way I’ve been living
no longer will I lose control over my sense of feeling
right and wrong make no difference
its all in the point of view
I see the way you treat me.
But yet, I still yield
To your skewed sense of judgement
You take the facts and twist them
until you determine what I feel
no longer will you take me
and mold me in your hands
for I am breaking out of this
so that I can finally feel

why should I blindly follow you
when I can see for myself
this world that has become so real
why should I listen to you
when now I hear the screams for help
why should I still love you
when I see that it was never real

I still have so many questions
about what I’ve missed
my friends have long since left me
my life is a total mess
the pieces of a shattered life
will soon come back together
now that I can see the whole again
they’ll soon fall back in place

why should I blindly follow you
when I can now see for myself
this world that has become so real
why should I listen to you
when now I hear the screams for help
why should I still love you
when I see that it was never real

I look back upon you with no regret
for I have learned what must be done
from now on I bow to know one.
I am the master of my own fate
I choose where I should shine or fall
these are my last words to you
and then you’re forever lost to me
thank you for freeing my mind
from the hell you locked me in

why should I blindly follow you
when I can now see for myself
this world that has become so real
why should I listen to you
when now I hear the screams for help
why should I still love you
when I see that it was never real

why should I blindly follow you
when I can now see for myself
this world that has become so real
why should I listen to you
when now I hear the screams for help
why should I still love you
when I see that it was never real

[Sewn Up]

Wow! I'm impressed!

"I still have so many questions
about what I’ve missed
my friends have long since left me
my life is a total mess
the pieces of a shattered life
will soon come back together
now that I can see the whole again
they’ll soon fall back in place"

This was the one verse that grabbed my attention the most. I think a better way to put it would have been:

"my life is a mess
the pieces of a shattered existence
will soon come back together" rather than calling it a "shattered life" only because it sounds to me a little repetitive with the two appearances of "life" that close together. Aside from that, I think you got a really good thing goin here. Keep it up, I'd like to see what else you can do.