Hi all,
We recently recorded the song listed below. We thought it was pretty good, then I had my girlfriend (who's an English minor) review it, and she tore it up. Would like another opinion, to add weight to my argument to change lyrics if they are conflicting!
3AM Fever - Subjugation
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Verse 1:
Reproduction -- key to life
Subjugation of the mind
Drown out the communication
Focus on the situation
Competition levels up
Kill yourself to get inside
Come here honey let’s put out
Pause your brain and subdivide
Chorus:
Bored out of our empty minds
This gives us a way to bind
Let’s go out, have some fun
Kill the other for your kind
Verse 2:
In the bedroom, in the dark
Body fluids find their mark
Look each other in the eyes
And proceed to paradise
Culmination of my life
All frustration gone tonight
I'll give in to life of sin
Need to do it all again
Chorus:
Born out of our empty minds
This gives us a way to bind
Let’s go out, have some fun
Kill each other for our kind
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Then, here's what she wrote:
1st half of chorus – doesn’t fit well with rest of song, doesn’t flow with song. Rest of song flows well and catchy.
Lyrics sound conflicted. Get no message. Can be sarcastic, but most importantly song comes from heart.
Reproduction key to life: face value “sex is good”
Subjugation of the mind: contraction “sex is bad”
What is point of song: sex is good “yeah it subjugates you, but you find ways to happily communicate like looking into each other’s eyes”, or sex is bad “it subjugates you”
Chorus not at all memorable.
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so...who do you agree with, the girlfriend or the band?
any constructive feedback is appreciated!
song our band wrote, could u review for us?
Linear Mode
