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Old 02-27-2007, 02:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Default choas + Pain = Life

I find myself once again on the end of a losing fight
The one thing that i wanted, has now passed by
Leaving a crater where i stood, and a shell of myself
The moment slowly is being drained of its once bright enegry
All I can do from above is watch my former self slowly burn like a forgotten cigarette
The ending to this night secures my doomed furture
Where its Me, Myself, and I, no others to disappoint, inturn saving myself
Assuring that I will never suffer or cause selfinflicting pain
Where everything i have has its order, and knows where it belongs
Its like structure, everything has it's place
Every action and atom has a purpose, nothing is done without reason
So as i sit here drenched in a cold sweat caused by words never wanting to hear
Knowing that familiar taste of failure i wonder why i asked, why i cared so much
I have no answer to these questions, only scars from the results
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Old 03-02-2007, 01:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Over the hills and far away...
Reputation: 18
English is not my native language so there are just some suggestions:

..."at" the end of a losing fight
... no others to disappoint "in order to save" myself
...caused by words "I never wanted" to hear

Overall I really like this verse! Its full of emotions and attitude
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