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Old 03-28-2007, 09:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile The Glory Days & Journey Of Dream

-The Glory Days-

Remember the old man who walked all alone
Man who wondered if there's God far above
That man was part of me that never even existed
One who still lives, one I let to live
The rest of me, lives no more
It have gone with you

Can you lead me right
I have lost my eyes
Can you be my sight
When I hurt myself, are you one who cries

Can you hold me tight
are you my dream which flies
will you end this eternal fight
Can you read this line
Can you taste my tears, sense my soul
Live your life, I'll be fine
This is the end of sour, end of foul

Now I watch the falling rain
never ask myself what I gain
The end of The Glory Days
for dead are all those braves

Remember that young boy who dreamed
everyday and night, so it seemed
That he would be so much more
it was only thing he lived for

-Journey Of Dream-

Life is just a journey of dream
with you but alone
Life is just a journey to stars
Away, so far above
Away from people & wars
Journey away like a stream

Every words in poetry
gave a heal to my agony
Every dream I ever lost
I found again my misery
wished all the pain would last

Life is just a journey of dream
Away everyday
Without you
No words to say

I heard that there is some mistakes in the first one, I don't know. I hope you like them!
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Old 03-29-2007, 01:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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nice. good use of poetic rythm and lots of strong emotional, spiritual and personal feelings in every sentance. Some critisizm? some words could be changed for better ones and some misused grammar or odd mistakes. once tuned up, im sure it'll rock!
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