first lyric ever

[mark07]

needs everything yet, no chorus or name, only a few verses! let me know what you think

Why I’m still attracted to your shimmering light,
Is the question that has bothered me for quite some time,
These red hot flames burn brightly just like you,
But is this why when I reminisce I feel so blue.

Over ten years long into this gone campaign,
I still find myself lost in the scorched remains,
How can I forget the times, the times that used to be,
The times we were together, times I still can see.

But when time stands still and wonders where you are,
The one who’s warmth has left me with this scar,
I project an answer hoping it will take,
Away this constant pain of my mistakes.

[SpudMunky]

hiya mark07, while what you have wrote is fantastic, i think its more suited as a poem rather than a song, but it all works really well and has meaning to it, its really quite deep!also i'm not sure as to whether you really want to add anything else to it though, because it all works perfectly, it just flows. i think it's really good as it is! but then thats my opinion lol!

[cry_baby]

like it keep working on it