Sweet Polly Purebread

Devin K · 04-14-2007, 02:28 PM

IN HER EYES THERE IS PAIN
SHE WILL NEVER BE A G.I. JANE
EVEN IF SHE IS HIGH ON PROPANE

DRESSED IN SHEET
WALKING THE SREET
WITHOUT A HEARTBEAT
TO EASY ON HER FEET
TO BE WITH THE LIVING

(CHORUS

PRETTY UNDEAD, A REAL DROP DEAD
SHE IS A CODE RED, SWEET POLLY PUREBREAD

LACKING PHYSICAL FEELING
DOUBLE DEALING
A CREEPY FEELING
NO MORE TEARS

SHE IS LOOKING FOR MORE
CANT PRETEND ANYMORE
BLOOD AND GORE
UNLOCK HEAVENS DOOR
ROTTEN TO THE CORE

(CHORUS

PRETTY UNDEAD, ALONG TIME DEAD
SHE WILL KEEP YOUR HEAD, SWEET POLLY PUREBREAD

COLD AND UNFORGIVING
THE LIVING DEAD
ALWAYS A STEP AHEAD

(CHORUS

PRETTY UNDEAD, ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, SWEET POLLY PUREBREAD

©Roger Krantz2007

Feel free to tell me what you think...

SpudMunky · 04-15-2007, 11:39 AM

Hi there! Well i quite like the idea behind this one, I think maybe you need not to make the last word in each verse have to be the same rhyme, maybe if you were to say have one rhyming sound per two lines, but then that could be down to preferance, however i quite like the theme in this one, what sort of music would you be ptting it to? This has the potential to be quite good!

Devin K · 04-15-2007, 12:22 PM

Hey, and thanks for your input. Well when i made this i was thinking of something like Rob Zombie sound...
The rhymes came out like a machine gun at that moment, and i had a great time writing it.
But i will look at it at least ten times, and maybe re-write it ten times.

SpudMunky · 04-15-2007, 06:44 PM

Hi again! You're welcome. Lol! I don't think it quite needs that! lol! Ah Rob Zombies sound is quite good as I recall, I believe that would work quite well then, and so long as you had fun that's the main thing, if you had it sung in the 'machine gun' way that you wrote it then I can see that working. It seems to fit more now that you've said that!