4 songs by a beginner; rate them please

[dancinglexi715]

Just One More Day

V1
I met you and I know
We've been friends ever since
Day by Day the time grew quicker
Soon I'll relize it all has to end

Chorus
But I Just wanted one more day
I would use it in every way I can
If I can be with you, I'll give anything
Just want one more day
Here, with you, in my home away from home

V2
Tears
Form
so very fast
Soon
I'll
Be in your arms
We'll be comforted by eachothers tears
We both know we'll be missing
Forever we'll be missing
Our home away from home

Chorus
But we just wanted one more day
We would use it in every way we can
If we can be together, we'll give anything
Just want one more day
Here, together, in our home away from home

Please Stay for One more day
One more day
__________________________________________________ ____________

I'm Out

V1
You are trying your hardest
to hurt me
and you are trying even harder
to get me back and get me to stay
(oh oh)
Now I'll have you know that no one's gonna control my life
So

Chorus
I'm out not returning
and never coming back
I'm out so find yourself a different ****
she'll be all you want
cause I'm out

V2
I can't believe its been this long
since I've been loved by you
And you took to long to notice me
So now we're done, we're through
(oh oh)
Now listen good cause i aint gonna say it again
(oh)

Chorus
I'm out not returning
and never coming back
I'm out so find yourself a different ****
she'll be all you want
cause I'm out

I'm Out!
__________________________________________________ ____________

Being Me

V1
I try day in day out t be the best (the best) the best I can be
(ohhhh ooooo mmmmhmmm)
Perfect is the only thing that you can accept from me
Boy you got you got me crazy
so now I'm breakin free
yea I'm

Chorus
Being me (for once)
Leaving you (for ever)
you got chance and you failed
so now I'm being me
I'm being me

V2
You think I'm so so crazy like this
you think it isn't me
Lets think, lets reminesce
On times gone by
I'm saying goodbye

Chorus
Being me (for once)
Leaving you (for ever)
you got chance and you failed
so now I'm being me
I'm being me


V3/Bridge
Gonna be me forever and more
Taking back your key to my door
you broke my heart and I'll never recover
how was I to know that it was her
sneaking out till who knows when
not putitng up with it cause is the end

Chorus
Being me (for once)
Leaving you (for ever)
you got chance and you failed
so now I'm being me
I'm being me
__________________________________________________ ____________

Time Flys

V1
Slowly Life and time fly by and no one knows why
Too bad there's no way to reverse it
It's almost like a curse it's
painfuly amazing how it twists and bends your every thought
walk a little slower is something you must be taught

Chorus
Folow Your heart and reach for the skies
Take every opprotunity cause there wont be another one like it
Time flys fast and its never gonna stop
Time Flys

V2
Time flys by quickly just observe and you'll see
I'll always be there for you just don't stop loving me
When you feel like life's against you and it's all coming too fast
take a chance take it all in cause sometime soon you'll win
Time flys by weather your happy or sad
If you miss a chance though don't get mad
Embrace every minuete you spend on earth cause it'll feel like its too short
Always remember to...

Chorus
Folow Your heart and reach for the skies
Take every opprotunity cause there wont be another one like it
Time flys fast and its never gonna stop
Time Flys

V3/Bridge
ohhhh if I tell you I'll be there for you
will i get the same response?
Listen close cause I don't know if i could say it woth more esconce
Time Flys
Don't stop loving me
Time Flys
I won't stop loving you
Just...

Chorus
Folow Your heart and reach for the skies
Take every opprotunity cause there wont be another one like it
Time flys fast and its never gonna stop
Time Flys

[dancinglexi715]

looking for feedback and is this a good song title?......

The story of my perfect flaws and imperfect perfections

like it?

[Theaks]

good songs, personally i like a good ryme though.

[petrochik]

Dear dancinglexi715,

I will start with the first song:
"I met you and I know" what do you know? it seems to me that you just filled that space to make it rhyme.
Day by Day the time grew quicker "something does not sound right over here. It could be a little better to say " day by day time flew quicker.
Soon I'll relize it all has to end. here the problem is that your tense is a little confusing. Lets assume that your friendship is in the past, it could sound better "Soon I will realize that it all ended or its all over or its all in the past burned and blurred.

Chorus.
But I Just wanted one more day. here the only problem is that you want one more day now. You are basically stating that you wish you had another day together. In my opinion it should be " I wish I had another day or I just want another day.

"If I can be with you, I'll give anything" could sound better " to be with you I'd give everything"

What do you mean by "Here, with you, in my home away from home"


Verse 2
Tears
Form
so very fast (dont need the "so here"}

That is my personal opinion so please do not get offended from my feedback.
The song in general is shouting out feelings which is a good thing. The structure the tenses are a little problematic but hey edit it a few times and it will get better.