Please Rate...2 New Songs

[n00b_lyricist]

This is my second time trying time posting these lyrics (1st time I got no response) on a forum and none of them are 100% so let me hear anything: criticism, compliments, etc. Your thoughts are appreciated. Thanks.

SONG #1
The page numbers are slightly sporadic,
But that's just how things seem to go
Sitting on the sand, The sky is my window
Darkness falls, but lights abound
Courtesy of the stars,
make the heaven's crown

I want to meet it's ruler
The starter of it all
I wondered who it was
Was it anyone at all?

View the writing from the other side
Backwards and slightly blurred
Clarity breeds progress
Randomness reigns clear
What a ****ing mess
I'm left with here

But that's just life,
Catch it before it goes
Who started this path...
{NEEDS FINISHED}

SONG #2 (How Do You Rate?)
Did you pay the fee
To get into the play?
You're the star of the show
Stand and clap if you may

Watching every move
Analyze your last decision
No one is a harsher critic
Than the source of your ambition

Now you're older
Slightly more wrinkled
Not the main attraction
Still get a good review?

Be content, you did your job
Never turned your back on your god
Three children and a loving wife
How do you rate your life?

Watching every move
Analyze your last decision
No one is a harsher critic
Than the source of your ambition

How do your rate
How do your rate
How do your rate...Your life?

[Restoration]

Butter!!!!!

Strickly Butter!!!

Question?......
What kind of music do you hear this flowing to?
What kind of chorus and bridge do you hear in "your" head for this?

Keep working on both and you will begin to see "even more" where your voice is and that "you" can (through the power of grace) accomplish kingdom residency, right here on earth!

Peace and Love

[n00b_lyricist]

Thanks for the comment! I'm not really sure exactly what music I had in my head when I wrote these. I feel like every time I step away from them and then come back I think of a slightly different tune for it to go with. But when I nail it down, I'll let you know.

[Krent_Calstro777]

the second song have a simiar flow of How you measure a man by Clay Aiken XD