All The Lyrics.com       Forum       Register       Members      User CP      Calendar       Search       FAQ             Music Journal

Go Back   Lyrics Forum > SONGS > Lyrics Review

Sponsored Links
Register

and you will see
NO ads!
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

Old 12-04-2007, 01:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Reputation: 18
Default New Song...No Title Yet

Here is another new song (I actually first wrote it a few months ago) that I would love to get some feedback for...let me hear it, both positive and negative...THANKS!

(NEEDS A TITLE)
A couple more died today
Over a thousand totally
Families left in disarray
We're winning is all they say

How long, we're not sure
What the **** are we fighting for?
Years have passed, at least two more
God knows what we have in store

So grab your gun an tan fatigue
Tomorrow you leave for the Middle East
Kiss your kids goodbye
It's your last glimpse into their eyes

A war fought for democracy
A battle, to make the world free
Maybe we're the ones who need saving
From our leadership misbehaving

So grab your gun an tan fatigue
Tomorrow you leave for the Middle East
Kiss your wife goodbye
It's your last glimpse into her eyes
n00b_lyricist is offline   Reply With Quote

Old 01-02-2008, 07:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary, AB...stupid redneck province...
Reputation: 12
Wow, awfully depressing really. And straightforward too.
The rhyme was really well done, not too tacky and the meter was very readable.
I like the lyrics, but I can't help but wonder to what kind of music would this be set to? The lyrics sound angry and with the short meter it feels fast, but I'm wondering what you were thinking.
Stlawrenceriver is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Register

and you will see
NO ads!


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:17 PM.
Lyrics | Lyrics search | Music directory | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Today's Posts | Search | New Posts |
 
Contact us
Copyright ©2002 - 2006 All The Lyrics .com


vbulletin skin developed by: eXtremepixels
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.0.1