All The Lyrics.com       Forum       Register       Members      User CP      Calendar       Search       FAQ             Music Journal

Go Back   Lyrics Forum > SONGS > Lyrics Review

Sponsored Links
Register

and you will see
NO ads!
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

Old 12-15-2007, 02:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Reputation: 10
Default New Girl

girl im better then any man you had
hopefully not an ex
put you to bed, so whats next
now we talking about sweet sex
but love that rough sex
have a fight, time for make up sex
dripping wet with sweat
unknowingly you got on top of me
knowingly you were teasing me
certainly pleasing me
deffiently hitting the right spots like you first time
baby hush, no need to rush
falling in love all over again
that'ill make you blush
some call it love some call it lust
what ever it is baby its a must
balu12 is offline   Reply With Quote

Old 12-19-2007, 09:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Reputation: 10
oh ok, I actually don't really like MOST rap and hip hop stuff.

the best stuff being the Australian hip hop scene (Y)

so i can't really help you as much as I'd like to, maybe ask Restoration, he seems pretty learned with all the hip hop stuff.

what i was saying before is that it looks to me like you're saying too much in one line, try to expand it out as much as possible and if neccisary, take some (or alot) of lines out. but, as i havn't really listened to much hip hop, I'm not sure if this 'rule' applys at all here, sorry.

and i get what it's about but it looks like there's a few lines in there that don't seem like they have much meaning to the overall meaning of it.
err..cede this tragedy? is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Register

and you will see
NO ads!


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:17 PM.
Lyrics | Lyrics search | Music directory | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Today's Posts | Search | New Posts |
 
Contact us
Copyright ©2002 - 2006 All The Lyrics .com


vbulletin skin developed by: eXtremepixels
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.0.1