I need a title and some feed-back please

[music fanatic]

Okay, so I wrote this not too long ago and its not completely finished, but if you guys could tell me what you think of it so far and maybe give me a title that would be awesome.
P.S. It's kind of a sappy love song and I don't normally write love songs so if you hate it I can understand.


I look into your eyes,
I can see them looking back
My heart starts pounding to my demise
feeling our souls connect

The time passes slowly by
as we walk on the traintracks of life
waiting to see the train pass
(laughing, loving, i love you)
we watch all those clueless people on the speeding train
they don't stop to notice what life has

Chorus:
I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine too
a promise of forever we make through and through
this pounding rain wont hold us back
just put on your hood and we'll make it
as long as I have you


please tell me what you think so I can know if I should finish it or not, thanks!

[lyricsfromtheheart]

i would say hand in hand

[music fanatic]

Thanks that's a great title

[Clockwork]

Call it "Clichés on a Stick".

[music fanatic]

hahahaha, yeah i know it sucks.

[thealexbaron]

I agree with Clockworks. It is a bit cliche, however, there are some things that I like:

"I look into your eyes,
I can see them looking back"

I like the phrasing of that second part.

"as we walk on the traintracks of life
waiting to see the train pass"

Again, I like the second part. Try to add the creative twist you did on those parts... to the rest, and you're set! Keep it up.

-Alex

[lyricsfromtheheart]

Well who doesnt love cliches? I mean they formed a beautiful song