"I Promise"

hart716 · 06-12-2008, 08:23 PM

Another song I put together, this one took about 5 minutes. Please give me some criticism. I want good and bad; if you think it's bad, just tell me.
Thanks.

VERSE 1:
Promises made are debts unpaid,
I’ll pay this debt my whole life through.
I made the commitment, made the choice,
It took me in and drove me out, now I’ve no where to run.

CHORUS:
I promise to love, promise to hold.
I love you baby, I promise you that.
I told you once, I told you twice,
And baby, a promise I keep true.

VERSE 2:
Don’t make promises you can’t keep,
They’ll come back around and tear you down.
It’s hard to keep, it’s hard to live,
But this promise is true, baby I love you.

CHORUS x2

Krent_Calstro777 · 06-12-2008, 08:28 PM

pretty good, I like it but you just missing a bridge, can't make a good one without it lol.

hart716 · 06-12-2008, 09:33 PM

Mhhhhmmm I was thinking that too.
I'll add one, then put it on here.
Thanks.

Jean1singer · 06-13-2008, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hart716

CHORUS:
I promise to love, promise to hold.
I love you baby, I promise you that.
I told you once, I told you twice,
And baby, a promise I keep true.

I loved the chorus ecspecially GREAT song!

hart716 · 06-13-2008, 10:31 PM

Thanks =D.
I'm having trouble thinking of a good bridge to this song.
Anyone have any suggestions?

Jester · 06-14-2008, 04:29 AM

Song's don't always have to have bridges/middle 8s... Or if they do, they don't always have to have lyrics.

hart716 · 06-14-2008, 10:03 AM

I know, but the song is a little bit short, I was just looking at a bridge as a way to lengthen it.

Tracy-Turnblad · 06-14-2008, 10:16 AM

Great song, I can't beleive it took you 5 mins! I agree that it needs a bridge, i'll try write one, but it's quite hard when it's not your song cuz you don't know exactly what the writer is thinking of.

hart716 · 06-14-2008, 10:18 AM

Ahhh I don't wanna spill out to you like you are all shrinks.
But I was writing this song for my girlfriend.
She never thought I loved her because I cheated on her before, and now I promised I love her.

So that's what I was thinking of if that helps.

Tracy-Turnblad · 06-14-2008, 10:45 AM

Bridge:
Baby
Don't you know that promise is a big word
If you can't keep a promise I can't trust you
how can I trust you
I said baby
Keeping a promise shows you love me
How am I supposed to know you love me
Do you love me?
Do you love me love me love me love me

hart716 · 06-14-2008, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tracy-Turnblad

Bridge:
Baby
Don't you know that promise is a big word
If you can't keep a promise I can't trust you
how can I trust you
I said baby
Keeping a promise shows you love me
How am I supposed to know you love me
Do you love me?
Do you love me love me love me love me

I like this.
Let's see what other responces I get and then I'll pick one.
Thanks!

Tracy-Turnblad · 06-14-2008, 10:56 AM

Ok, know i now what it's about my bridge doesn't really work. How about this version,
Baby
I know now that promise is a big word
I know that you don't think you can trust me
But you can trust me
I said baby
How am I supposed to show I love you
I'm making this promise that I love you
Yeah I love you
Yeah I love love you love you love you love you

hart716 · 06-14-2008, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tracy-Turnblad

Ok, know i now what it's about my bridge doesn't really work. How about this version,
Baby
I know now that promise is a big word
I know that you don't think you can trust me
But you can trust me
I said baby
How am I supposed to show I love you
I'm making this promise that I love you
Yeah I love you
Yeah I love love you love you love you love you

I like this one. A lot.
I'm gonna add this to the song.
Thanks =DDDDDDD

Jester · 06-15-2008, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hart716

I know, but the song is a little bit short, I was just looking at a bridge as a way to lengthen it.

So... As I've already said - They don't always need lyrics

Use music or something to fill it out.