New Rap Song - Breakthrough

This is the 2nd song I've ever written so I will improve, just wanted to see what people thought of it..

Breakthrough

Is there a point in me,
Writing **** down,
Cause in this rap game I’m not,
Making no ground,

I’m not sure where I can go,
Or how I can be found,
And it seems like my careers,
Started on a down,

Got no fans and no respect,
Who, what, where, how,
Do I make some real hype,
And put my CD out,

I dunno how to get signed,
To a major label,
And show the whole world,
What I’m bringing to the table,

I’m able, I know it, I show it,
I beat ya eight fold,
Your best artist jealous,
Cause he can’t write like me, no,

The dream so,
Close yet so far away,
I can’t quite grab it,
But it’s right in, my face,

And it seems like the skies,
They all gone turned grey,
And all of my dreams,
Are just slipping away,

I sit there and wonder,
Should I put the down the pen,
And maybe look towards,
Other ventures again,

Maybe, this aint, my game,
Maybe, I’m not, for fame,
I just thought that maybe,
I could make, myself, a name,

I just can’t believe,
That I may be done with rap,
I only just started,
But I see no space, or gap,

To breakthrough, it’s painful,
No people, to take it to,
No venues, that I can prove,
I’m talented and not get booed,

By all these fake and **** MC’s.
Think there gangster, wannabes,
Listen to my lines you’ll see,
That I am no, wannabe,

Gangster, or pretend G,
I just say what I can see,
On the mic I truthfully,
Depict who I want to be,

Visions of, making it,
When I get there, I’m taking it,
I don’t doubt, your faking it,
And one day, yeah you’ll pay for it,

But right now, it’s my time,
And I know, that I’ll shine,
I had my doubts but now I know,
That I’m gon‘, do just fine,

I’m no gangster, I’m no G,
That don’t mean, that I can’t be,
An influential name in rap,
I don’t need, to get no gat,

So sit up, and listen,
To a place that I envision,
It has no gangsters, has no crime,
Has no felons, has no knives,

Has no rude boys, Has no nights,
We’re people end up getting knifed,
On the news, and now we see,
Just how we’ve made a tragedy.

thats fresh mayne

im feelin it

its good 4 ur 2nd song
but next time you write a song,dnt put that much commas man


So sit up and listen to a place that I envision//
It has no gangsters and it has no crime//Has no felons,it has no knives//Has no rude dudes, Has no nights//We’re people end up getting knifed//On the news, and now we see//Just how we’ve made a tragedy.


thats was to the part you killed nikka