My First Song (All the Girls Who Turn Me On Turn Me Down)

hey guys so this is my first song. in case it isn't obvious, i'm trying to be as funny as possible. i would appreciate any suggestions or criticism. thanks!

I'll be the nice guy
If it means she cries on my shoulder
I'll be a *****
If it means I just get to hold her

I'm not an *******
But I can be for a kiss
Then again, with my looks
It's far less hit than miss

All the girls who turn me on
Turn me down
I have that special knack
To make their smile's frown

Every girl I approach
Just scorns my special charm
My mother lied, she said
"Just be yourself, 'cause it can do no harm"

I've done everything I can
I even tried those date-rape drugs
But they got my DNA
When I left it on her jugs

Little kids won't trust me
Cause of the sign on my front door
It says "Molester within"
And I can't afford no *****

All the girls who turn me on
Turn me down
It's now illegal for me
To dress up as a clown

All the girls who turn me on
Turn me brutally down
I can't seem to avoid
Making their smiles frown

lmaoooooooooo

hilarious ****

good **** tho rofl