Over The Hill - Plz give some feedback :D

No one, wants to win
Take it, on the chin
Don't know what is wrong
Feel I don't belong

Grass, is greener
Over the hill
Take, a good look
See if it's real
You're the one
That makes me feel
Feels so good
It can't be real
Oh, no...

Angels, flying high
Knowing, who will die
Don't know what is wrong
Feel I don't belong

Grass, is greener
Over the hill
Take, a good look
See if it's real
You're the one
That makes me feel
Feels so good
It can't be real
Oh, no...

People, everywhere
Got to, be aware
Don't know what is wrong
Feel I don't belong

Grass, is greener
Over the hill
Take, a good look
See if it's real
You're the one
That makes me feel
Feels so good
It can't be real...

Come on, 23 views and no replys ?

Originally Posted by Nicklas C

Come on, 23 views and no replys ?

i feel you there on the no reply lol... but this is very good i enjoyed it very much thanks for sharing

Originally Posted by mandi2009

i feel you there on the no reply lol... but this is very good i enjoyed it very much thanks for sharing

Thank you very much, I really appreciated it

Plz. give some more advise about what I can do better ???

I think it is wellwritten, a little too bright and happy for me in some case, but that doesn't mean its not good

I can't really tell you how to improve yourself, you would want to talk with someone who writes stuff like this themself but if you ever wanna venture into the heavy metal appartment, just tell me

anyways, a nice piece of work again, very different from your other lyric, which is good ofcourse, the more subjects you get around on, the better chance of improving you skills so keep up the good work

Originally Posted by Silverhowl

I think it is wellwritten, a little too bright and happy for me in some case, but that doesn't mean its not good

I can't really tell you how to improve yourself, you would want to talk with someone who writes stuff like this themself but if you ever wanna venture into the heavy metal appartment, just tell me

anyways, a nice piece of work again, very different from your other lyric, which is good ofcourse, the more subjects you get around on, the better chance of improving you skills so keep up the good work

Thank you very much, the genre for this song is actually kind of Grunge (you know, Nirvana and so on) but yeah i love heavy metal, but my favorite is Grunge... But what I wanna do is kind of mix grunge and metal, and maybe a little bit punk.

Nice song ! I like it but there are some little things to improve if you want it to be perfect Anyway , it's a very nice song and I like the way you related the title with the lyrics

Originally Posted by FlamE

Nice song ! I like it but there are some little things to improve if you want it to be perfect Anyway , it's a very nice song and I like the way you related the title with the lyrics

thank you very much, but can you tell what it is that I need in this song for it to be better ?

Originally Posted by Nicklas C

thank you very much, but can you tell what it is that I need in this song for it to be better ?

Well , I`d change those parts :

Angels, flying high
Knowing, who will die
Don't know what is wrong
Feel LIKE i don't belong

Grass SEEMS greener
Over the hill
Take, a good look
See if it's real
You ARE the one
That makes me feel
Feels so good
It can't be real...

I used big letter for things I would change It doesn't mean you have to change them , it's just my opinion on how the song would sound better

Originally Posted by FlamE

Well , I`d change those parts :

Angels, flying high
Knowing, who will die
Don't know what is wrong
Feel LIKE i don't belong

Grass SEEMS greener
Over the hill
Take, a good look
See if it's real
You ARE the one
That makes me feel
Feels so good
It can't be real...

I used big letter for things I would change It doesn't mean you have to change them , it's just my opinion on how the song would sound better

Okay, thank you.

The first suggestion with adding LIKE doesn't fit with my melody, but I think i will replace is with seems as you said, Thank you very much