me! Me! ME! please tell me what you think, and be honest ;)

[Nicklas C]

This is a song i just finished, please tell what wrong with it, and of cause also if theres anything great about it.

[Verse]
When I hear rain, my fire leaves
When I meet pain, it's misperceived

One more day, and i'll be sober
Whatever floats my boat, it's over!

[Chorus]
Wouldn't wanna fake it
Even if I try
Keeping it elated
Even when I'm high

[Verse]
Some have tried, and some don't care
Square the circles, make them pairs

One more day, and i'll be sober
Whatever floats my boat, it's over!

[Chorus x2]
Wouldn't wanna fake it
Even if I try
Keeping it elated
Even when I'm high

[Short Solo]

One more day, and i'll be sober
Whatever floats my boat, it's over!

[Chorus]
Wouldn't wanna fake it
Even if I try
Keeping it elated
Even when I'm high

Don't wanna try
Don't wanna try
Don't wanna try!

[020Jeffs]

Your solo is your verse?
Your verses both have the solo in?
I feel you have just thrown random words at eachother hoping for a reaction
It just didn't catch
I see no common emotion or theme.
It's just random and poorly structured.

[Kreative]

the guy before me is pretty much on point i mean i dont see any depth really.. it sounds good if you say it outloud but.... do you even know what you were talking about?

[020Jeffs]

the guy before me is pretty much on point i mean i dont see any depth really.. it sounds good if you say it outloud but.... do you even know what you were talking about?

Thanks buddy
(Y)

[LyricsAngel]

It's not that bad, but I can't see any feeling in it

[Kreative]

you should edit it i mean you could still center it around a topic