please let me know what u think. I dont take any wrtiing or poem classes and i know nothing about makeing raps besides what i here from listening to songs. but this is my first attempt so let me know what u honestly think and how i could possibly make it better

I used the 2pac-pain intremental to come up with this rap here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKDM-Zmebpo

My name is timmy mullen
I can here the grim reeper callen
Death is near pass me another beer
My visions I see em clear
Is it real or is it fantasy?
For goodness sake I hope its fake
Cuz these thoughts are ****in sick spark a cig with my bic
Imma mute wigga
Dreams of bein a playa
Thoughts of bein a killa
Just want a happy picta
But in the back of my mind ii still know my life is easy
Compared to others its as sweet as lemon peazy
But still im unhappy can only blame myself
For on the table I left so much wealth
All the pretty girls I let slip bye
Without even a wave or a hi
But cant cry
Why did my mom die
At age 7 feelin as helpless as a trapped fly
(that day)Didn’t break a single tear
But years later I cried a river
But just remember that I love you forever