Need the translation of this music,please!help! *

Thread: Need the translation of this music,please!help! *

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  1. maga_jr said:

    Default Need the translation of this music,please!help! *

    hello!!!!!
    a friend of mine send to me this music,somebody can help me with the translation???

    multsimesc!


    am o chitara deschisa, o foaie descrisa
    si praf de stele pe hainele mele
    si incerc sa nu uit sa nu vad
    sa cobor dintre ele...

    am o bodega in fata, am un ghem de ata
    si praf de stele p urmele mele
    si incerc sa ma urc sa nu uit
    sa raman printre ele

    spune-mi oare mai stii cum a fost
    primul inceput, primul vis pierdut
    spune stii cate ne-au mai ramas
    pana azi.....

    am o vedere spre lume
    un vis fara nume
    si praf de stele pe urmele mele
    si incerc sa ma uit inapoi
    sa vad soare su ploi

    am o poveste citita, o soapta zidita
    si praf de stele p hainele mele
    si-as vrea sa culeg stropi de vant
    sa-i arunc pe pamant...sa devina cuvant
     
  2. stefana-victoria's Avatar

    stefana-victoria said:

    Default

    Good morning. These are beautiful lines.
    I will try to translate them but I also expect completions from other friends. (because I consider this site as a gigantic family)

    am o chitara deschisa, o foaie descrisa - I have an open guitar, a described page
    si praf de stele pe hainele mele - and stars powder on my clothes
    si incerc sa nu uit sa nu vad - and I try not to forget not to see
    sa cobor dintre ele... - to go down between them...

    am o bodega in fata, am un ghem de ata - I have a bodega in front of me, I have a thread ball
    si praf de stele p urmele mele - and stars powder on my foot steps
    si incerc sa ma urc sa nu uit - and I try to climb not to forget
    sa raman printre ele - to stay between them

    spune-mi oare mai stii cum a fost - tell me, do you still know how it was
    primul inceput, primul vis pierdut - the first beginning, the first lost dream
    spune stii cate ne-au mai ramas - tell me, do you know how much are left for us
    pana azi..... - until today

    am o vedere spre lume - I have a view towards the world
    un vis fara nume - a dream without name
    si praf de stele pe urmele mele - and stars powder on my foot steps
    si incerc sa ma uit inapoi - and I try to look back
    sa vad soare su ploi - to see sun and rain

    am o poveste citita, o soapta zidita - I have a read story, a inmured whisper
    si praf de stele p hainele mele - and stars powder on my clothes
    si-as vrea sa culeg stropi de vant - I wish to gather wind drops
    sa-i arunc pe pamant...sa devina cuvant - bring them on earth...to become words

    Like I said, I am waiting for completions and other versions because I know that together we can make a better translation.
    Have a nice day.
     
  3. Raisa-Miruna's Avatar

    Raisa-Miruna said:

    Default

    "how much are left for us"- u can't use the verb at plural with "much". so: "how much is left for us"...and "sa-i arunc pe pamant..." better "throw them on earth..." not bring, it creates a stronger impression.
    The rest is really well translated, good for you!
     
  4. stefana-victoria's Avatar

    stefana-victoria said:

    Default

    Thank you very much Raisa-Miruna. You are right.
    It is always good to have second and maybe third oppinion, because another person can see a text in a different way, with another eye and it is always better.
    So I thank you again.
    And have a wonderful day.
     
  5. dya said:

    Default

    I made several changes and also included what Raisa mentioned earlier. The changes rather have the purpose of giving you alternatives for future translations. It's obvious that you enjoy translating but you're not completely sure you do a good job. Well, you do an excellent job, and people who asked for translations around here and got them from you can confirm my words.

    What I wrote in bold are mainly things you can use as "fixed" expressions or poetic alternatives to the main dictionary entry.

    Like for example "star dust" is the fixed expression to render the meaning of "pulbere/praf de stele"

    among is better used when intre/dintre refer to more than two persons/items/etc. Between is mainly used to express the idea of two.

    Anyway, your translation is very good

    am o chitara deschisa, o foaie descrisa - I have an open guitar, a described page
    si praf de stele pe hainele mele - and star duston my clothes
    si incerc sa nu uit sa nu vad - and I try not to forget not to see
    sa cobor dintre ele... - to come down from among them...

    am o bodega in fata, am un ghem de ata - I have a pub in front of me, I have a thread ball
    si praf de stele pe urmele mele - and star duston my foot steps
    si incerc sa ma urc sa nu uit - and I try to climb not to forget
    sa raman printre ele - to stay among them

    spune-mi oare mai stii cum a fost - tell me, do you still know how it was
    primul inceput, primul vis pierdut - the first beginning, the first lost dream
    spune stii cate ne-au mai ramas - tell me, do you know how many are still left for us
    pana azi..... - until today

    am o vedere spre lume - I have a view towards the world
    un vis fara nume - a dream without name
    si praf de stele pe urmele mele - and star duston my foot steps
    si incerc sa ma uit inapoi - and I try to look back
    sa vad soare si ploi - to see sun and rain

    am o poveste citita, o soapta zidita - I have a read story, a immured whisper
    si praf de stele pe hainele mele - and star dust on my clothes
    si-as vrea sa culeg stropi de vant - AndI'd want to gather wind drops
    sa-i arunc pe pamant...sa devina cuvant - To throw them on earth...(so they could ) become word
     
  6. stefana-victoria's Avatar

    stefana-victoria said:

    Default

    Thank you dya. Well sometimes I do it it in a hurry (even though I should not to) and sometimes to literarly but that is why I believe in other oppinions.
    I am glad to get any kind of feedback, it doesn't matter if it is good or bad.
    For me it will always be something from what I can learn and for those persons who ask for help it will be a much better version of what they need.
    So I am glad, dya and I thank you again.
    Have a nice evening.
     
  7. maga_jr said:

    Default

    thanks a lot,guys!!!!!!!
    indeed these are beautiful lines!!
    thanks you so much!
    well, if any of you need a translation from a portuguese (i'm from Brazil) music, i'd be glad to help you!

    see you!
     
  8. stefana-victoria's Avatar

    stefana-victoria said:

    Default

    You are welcome maga jr.
    Take care.