DJ Project feat. Jazzy - "Prea naiv" - HELP

[DeBaires]

Just need someone to tell me my mistakes, 2 DJ Project songs...mersi

"Prea naiv"
"Too naive"

Nu ma pot opri din plans...
I can't stop my weaping
Ma doare lipsa ta...
Your absence hurts me
As vrea sa spun orice, oricui,
I'd like to say anything, to anyone
Sa-i spun povestea mea...
tell my story
Ai fost o stea pe cerul meu,
You were a star in my sky
Acum imi pare rau,
Now, I'm sorry
Cat am clipit ai disparut...
As soon as I blinked, you disappeared
Si-ai stins sufletul meu...
& you extinguished my soul

Iti spun bun ramas,
Should it be "iti spun, bun, ramas"? as in "I tell you 'fine, stay' "???
Astazi te las...
Today I let you go
Nu regret, nu mai stau nici un ceas,
No regret/I don't regret it, I won't stay for even one more hour
Am inteles k nu au sens,
I understood that it didn't make sense
Lacrimi pe obraz...
Tears on my cheek
Iti spun bun ramas...
I tell you fine, stay(?)

Mii de scuze nu si-au rost,
Thousands of apologies that didn't make sense
Ce ai facut m-a stins...
What did you do? I extinguished myself(?)
Degeaba incerci sa reaprinzi,
In vain you try to recapture
Un vis ce-a fost frumos...
A dream that was beautiful
A durat zambetul tau...
Your smile has lasted
Si ma trezeam in rai...
& I would awake in paradise
Tu ai fost doar un inger rau...
You were just a bad angel
Mintind k ma iubeai...
Lying about loving me



"Zile si nopti"
Days & nights

O floare, Un zambet si un gand curat
A flower, a smile & a clean mind
Iubire, imi ofereai tot ce-am visat.
Love, you would give me everything I dreamt of
Vad flori cum se sting,incet,incet,si mor,
I see how flowers fade, slowly, slowly & die
Si-un zambet,ce-i doar un zambet de ador.
& a flower is only a flower of adoration

Nu esti un cantec ce-l uit prea usor,
You're not a song that I can easily forget
Nu esti un trecator,
You're not a passerby
Dar lacrimi imi spun mult prea sincer
But tears tell me too honestly
Ca tu, chiar cauti un alt drum.
That you're just looking for another path

Re:Trec noptile intruna ,
The nights pass endlessly
Sunt doar eu si Luna.
It's just me & the moon
Vise si ganduri si mii de fiori
Dreams & thoughts & thousands of shivers
Ma trec pana-n zori
Pass me by till dawn

Trec zile intruna,
Days pass endlessly
Minut sau ore-i tot una.
Minutes or hours are all the same
Incerc sa imi spun ca va trece usor,
I try to tell myself that it will pass easily
Dar tremur de dor...
But I tremble from longing

Da-mi sansa, Sa fac tot ce ieri N-am facut,
Give me a chance, to do everything that I didn't do yesterday
Imi pare rau, n-am pretuit,si am pierdut.
I'm sorry, I didn't appreciate (you) & I lost (you)
Te port in gand, adorm si ma trezesc plangand
I carry you in my mind, I fall asleep & wake up crying
De parca tot ce-a fost frumos acum e scrum.
It seems that all that was beautiful is now ahses

[Raisa-Miruna]

You surprise me how well you translate some of the constructions!! Here is the first song with some suggestions (written with bold letters)

"Prea naiv"
"Too naive"

Nu ma pot opri din plans...
I can't stop my weaping - or "I can't stop crying"
Ma doare lipsa ta...
Your absence hurts me
As vrea sa spun orice, oricui,
I'd like to say anything, to anyone
Sa-i spun povestea mea...
tell my story
Ai fost o stea pe cerul meu,
You were a star in my sky- better "on my sky"
Acum imi pare rau,
Now, I'm sorry
Cat am clipit ai disparut...
As soon as I blinked, you disappeared
Si-ai stins sufletul meu...
& you extinguished my soul

Iti spun bun ramas - "bun ramas" or "ramas bun" means "good bye"- so the translation is: "I tell you good bye"
Astazi te las...
Today I let you go
Nu regret, nu mai stau nici un ceas,
No regret/I don't regret it, I won't stay for even one more hour -better "I don't regret , I won't stay for even one more hour"
Am inteles k nu au sens,
I understood that it didn't make sense-"au" is for the third person, plural...so it's: "I understood that they don't make sense" (probably the tears in the following verse)
Lacrimi pe obraz...
Tears on my cheek
Iti spun bun ramas...
I tell you fine, stay(?)- "I tell you good bye"


Mii de scuze nu si-au rost,
Thousands of apologies that didn't make sense- the tense is present: "Thousands of apologies don't make sense"Ce ai facut m-a stins...
What did you do? I extinguished myself(?) - "What you did extinguished me"
Degeaba incerci sa reaprinzi,
In vain you try to recapture- "In vain you try to reignite/ fire up again" (since you already used the verb to extinguish, let's keep the metaphore)
Un vis ce-a fost frumos...
A dream that was beautiful
A durat zambetul tau...
Your smile has lasted- better "lasted" cause it's past...
Si ma trezeam in rai...
& I would awake in paradise "And I woke up in paradise" (still, the correct translation is "I was waking up" but I don't think the continuous form for this verb in English should be used here)
Tu ai fost doar un inger rau...
You were just a bad angel
Mintind k ma iubeai...
Lying about loving me

[tigress_tim]

I see no one did it for you until now, So i took the pleasure of correcting it

"Prea naiv"
"Too naive"

Nu ma pot opri din plans...
I can't stop my weaping
- - - .....from weaping
Ma doare lipsa ta...
Your absence hurts me
As vrea sa spun orice, oricui,
I'd like to say anything, to anyone
Sa-i spun povestea mea...
- - - To tell him/her my....
tell my story
Ai fost o stea pe cerul meu,
You were a star in my sky
- - - .....on my sky
Acum imi pare rau,
Now, I'm sorry
Cat am clipit ai disparut...
As soon as I blinked, you disappeared
- - While I Blinked, ...
Si-ai stins sufletul meu...
& you extinguished my soul

Iti spun bun ramas,
Should it be "iti spun, bun, ramas"? as in "I tell you 'fine, stay' "???
(No no no - It is - Iti spun, bun ramas" as in - - - I tell you good bye
Astazi te las...
Today I let you go
- - - ...I let you
Nu regret, nu mai stau nici un ceas,
No regret/I don't regret it, I won't stay for even one more hour
- - - I dont regret,....
Am inteles k nu au sens,
I understood that it didn't make sense
- - - ....they dont have any meaning
Lacrimi pe obraz...
Tears on my cheek
Iti spun bun ramas...
I tell you fine, stay(?)
- - - tell you good bye

Mii de scuze nu si-au rost,
Thousands of apologies that didn't make sense
- - - ...that are no good
Ce ai facut m-a stins...
What did you do? I extinguished myself(?)
- - - What you did extinguished me
Degeaba incerci sa reaprinzi,
In vain you try to recapture
- - - ...to reignitiate
Un vis ce-a fost frumos...
A dream that was beautiful
A durat zambetul tau...
Your smile has lasted
Si ma trezeam in rai...
& I would awake in paradise
Tu ai fost doar un inger rau...
You were just a bad angel
Mintind k ma iubeai...
Lying about loving me



"Zile si nopti"
Days & nights

O floare, Un zambet si un gand curat
A flower, a smile & a clean mind
- - - ......clean thought
Iubire, imi ofereai tot ce-am visat.
Love, you would give me everything I dreamt of
- - - Love, you were giving me....
Vad flori cum se sting,incet,incet,si mor,
I see how flowers fade, slowly, slowly & die
Si-un zambet,ce-i doar un zambet de ador.
& a flower is only a flower of adoration
- - And a smile which is only a smile of adoration

Nu esti un cantec ce-l uit prea usor,
You're not a song that I can easily forget
Nu esti un trecator,
You're not a passerby
Dar lacrimi imi spun mult prea sincer
But tears tell me too honestly
Ca tu, chiar cauti un alt drum.
That you're just looking for another path
- - - That you really are looking for....

Re:Trec noptile intruna ,
The nights pass endlessly
Sunt doar eu si Luna.
It's just me & the moon
Vise si ganduri si mii de fiori
Dreams & thoughts & thousands of shivers
Ma trec pana-n zori
Pass me by till dawn
- - - Pass trough me till...

Trec zile intruna,
Days pass endlessly
Minut sau ore-i tot una.
Minutes or hours are all the same
- - - Minute or hour is the same ( There was no plural here ! )
Incerc sa imi spun ca va trece usor,
I try to tell myself that it will pass easily
Dar tremur de dor...
But I tremble from longing

Da-mi sansa, Sa fac tot ce ieri N-am facut,
Give me a chance, to do everything that I didn't do yesterday
Imi pare rau, n-am pretuit,si am pierdut.
I'm sorry, I didn't appreciate (you) & I lost (you)
Te port in gand, adorm si ma trezesc plangand
I carry you in my mind, I fall asleep & wake up crying
De parca tot ce-a fost frumos acum e scrum.
It seems that all that was beautiful is now ahses
- - - .....all that has been beautiful has turned to ashes

[Raisa-Miruna]

"Zile si nopti"
Days & nights

O floare, Un zambet si un gand curat
A flower, a smile & a clean mind- "and a clean thought"
Iubire, imi ofereai tot ce-am visat.
Love, you would give me everything I dreamt of- or "you gave me"
Vad flori cum se sting,incet,incet,si mor,
I see how flowers fade, slowly, slowly & die-it's ok, but u could also say "I see flowers fading slowly, slowly, and die"
Si-un zambet,ce-i doar un zambet de ador.
& a flower is only a flower of adoration- "And a smile which is only a smile of adoration/longing"
Nu esti un cantec ce-l uit prea usor,
You're not a song that I can easily forget
Nu esti un trecator,
You're not a passerby
Dar lacrimi imi spun mult prea sincer
But tears tell me too honestly
Ca tu, chiar cauti un alt drum.
That you're just looking for another path- "just" is "doar" in romanian...and "chiar" -"really" or "actually"
The rest is perfect!!! Great job!!!

[Raisa-Miruna]

Really sorry but I'd like to explain something to Tigress:


Cat am clipit ai disparut...
As soon as I blinked, you disappeared
- - While I Blinked, ...

It was not "In timp ce am clipit", it was "cat am clipit", like in the very same moment, so the translation with "as soon as" was ok from my point of view...


Degeaba incerci sa reaprinzi,
In vain you try to recapture
- - - ...to reignitiate

"to reignite" as I said... I know, it happens to me too...




Ma trec pana-n zori
Pass me by till dawn
- - - Pass trough me till...

I didn't get what you wanted to say..."Pass me by till dawn" was ok.


Minut sau ore-i tot una.
Minutes or hours are all the same
- - - Minute or hour is the same ( There was no plural here ! )

Actually it should be "Minute or hours is the same" (to be as impersonal verb- singular)


De parca tot ce-a fost frumos acum e scrum.
It seems that all that was beautiful is now ahses
- - - .....all that has been beautiful has turned to ashes[/quote]


If you wanna use present perfect, you can translate it like "...all that was beautiful has turned to ashes", but the verb used here is "to be", not "to turn into", so he translated it better from the beginning.


I hope u're not upset or something, if I'm wrong everybody can correct me!

[DeBaires]

Thank you both so much!

I ALWAYS confuse a prinde & a aprinde

But really, mersi mult!

[Raisa-Miruna]

You're welcome there are so many people who want to help you... )

[tigress_tim]

[/quote]


Ma trec pana-n zori
Pass me by till dawn
- - - Pass through me till... ( sorry i forgot "h" )

I didn't get what you wanted to say..."Pass me by till dawn" was ok.

[/quote]

Hahaha No sweetie, I'm not upset, I did it fast, Im not perfect, of course many minds are better than one

And THIS - is correct - "fiori" , they pass through you...not (walk, pass) by you - Like - Te trec fior , and NOT fiorii trec pe langa mine

[Raisa-Miruna]

Yeah, you're right, it's through, not by.

[tigress_tim]

Glad u agree