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Thread: Enjoy *****ez (1 Replies, 19,758 Views) by jaskailey88
some of the metaphors seem redundant. you need to think outside the box more. how long you been writing for?
Thread: Suddenly (Full Song) - A bit of witty word play (1 Replies, 21,204 Views) by jaskailey88
[QUOTE=Too Smooth for a Username;1043519]A lot of this is wordplay and references to different rappers so I hope you understand some of it because some of it's quite clever - I think/Or I'm just up...
Thread: Rap about partylife (3 Replies, 1,022 Views) by jaskailey88
I freestyled the first 4 lines to the beat of your a jerk (out of all songs lol). Went from there to see if I could come up with a full rap. I re-read it again and realised I lost the flow in places...
Thread: rap about clublife (3 Replies, 1,162 Views) by jaskailey88
O yeah thanks I posted it here by accident
Thread: Rap about partylife (3 Replies, 1,022 Views) by jaskailey88
A fun party song I wrote different from my usual stuff but maintained my usual storytelling style. Let me know what you think please
Verse 1:
As I walk in 2 a party, wiv the girls feelin...
Thread: rap about clublife (3 Replies, 1,162 Views) by jaskailey88
A fun club song I wrote different from my usual stuff but maintained my usual storytelling style. Let me know what you think please :)
Verse 1:
As I walk in 2 a party, wiv the girls feelin...
Thread: R Dot D (1 Replies, 1,231 Views) by jaskailey88
Sweet rap :-) Nice message and flowed pretty nice 2 im sure your girlfriend loved it. The rhyming is simple but in my view it works. Though I suggest starting to incorporate more complex rhymes and...
Thread: Nightlife - new rap, newish style. What do you think? (7 Replies, 2,333 Views) by jaskailey88
I like it. Its got a nice flow. The third verse especially was slick. Nice rhymes and use of multi's 2 :). Though Im not sure about the hook. When I was reading the hook I was almost reading it as...
Thread: My second rap song about a girl (3 Replies, 263,831 Views) by jaskailey88
Yea I agree with Jfam. The rap is nice and flows well :-) Just use more multis 2 make your rhymes more interesting
Thread: Got another rap, tell me what you think (5 Replies, 1,468 Views) by jaskailey88
I like it :) You did a good job with the lyrics. It can easily be distinguished from the drake song which is a good thing keep it up :)
Thread: Pretty Boy Run (2 Replies, 983 Views) by jaskailey88
I like it alot dude :) Nice rhyming going on there and got a good flow to it as well
Thread: All Night Long(Miss Me) Cover. (5 Replies, 1,786 Views) by jaskailey88
Yea thats why it seemed pretty familiar. I've actually revised my opinion now. It seems like you have just copied alot of drake's lyrics and twerked with a few words especially up to (Yo, you gonna...
Thread: All Night Long(Miss Me) Cover. (5 Replies, 1,786 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey man its ok not bad. Content is abit repetitive and not really my style of rapping but had a good flow to it and rhymed well too. Erm Im not sure how I can help but maybe a more innovative...
Thread: New rap, wondering what you guys think (5 Replies, 1,223 Views) by jaskailey88
That feedback was for the first one. The second one I genuinely liked alot :) I could almost picture the angry tone in the rap.
Thread: New rap, wondering what you guys think (5 Replies, 1,223 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey man considering its your first time here its actually pretty good :) Nice subject matter and had a good flow. Just feel its need a few multis and metaphors to give it the extra punch plus makes...
Thread: It Goes On - New Rap (4 Replies, 1,603 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey man it did sound alot better with the beat and the content itself is good and carries a positive message but it still seems to lack a certain punch for me. Certain parts didn’t quite flow right...
Thread: another r&b song (1 Replies, 1,031 Views) by jaskailey88
Any feedback will be appreciated thanks :) Just want to see how I fared trying a different style
Thread: another r&b song (1 Replies, 1,031 Views) by jaskailey88
Thought I'd experiment so came up with a mini R&b type song. Let me know what you think
Verse 1:
When I'd take you out
Did you mistake it for trash
You took off so suddenly
Yet I was the...
Thread: When Your Without Me (11 Replies, 2,279 Views) by jaskailey88
"Threw you a song, Left you a scar." Loved that bit :)
Thread: Just Imagine It... (5 Replies, 1,563 Views) by jaskailey88
Yeah gotta say really good lyrics enjoyed reading them :) How long you been writing for?
Thread: New rap (2 Replies, 1,059 Views) by jaskailey88
Any1?
Thread: The most stupidest song on planet earth!!! [eating habits..] (6 Replies, 1,687 Views) by jaskailey88
Haha I like this :) Very original theme too!
Thread: feedback please (5 Replies, 1,266 Views) by jaskailey88
Thanks people :-) I appreciate it. Was just abit worried I might have lost my touch cause I was out of practice
Thread: New rap (2 Replies, 1,059 Views) by jaskailey88
A new rap I've written. I've reverted back to my storytelling style. Probably need to work on the first verse and the metaphors but let me know what you think anyway
Verse 1:
I was at a...
Thread: It's Time - New rap with a hook and title this time :) (8 Replies, 3,462 Views) by jaskailey88
I think this is really good! :-) Flows very well too. I defo do like it especially this bit "I'm a man on a mission with a different vision looking to make an incision in the mystery of...
Thread: New Rap - Wait On. What do you all think of this one? (3 Replies, 1,804 Views) by jaskailey88
Erm its ok not as good as some of the other stuff you've posted. I think more metaphors and using multis and in rhymes will make it sound alot better. Only my opinion though
Thread: feedback please (5 Replies, 1,266 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey people. Been away for a long time and only started writing again just over a week ago so still abit rusty.Got quite a few 16s but I aint been able to write anything full fledged as yet. Please...
Thread: R&B song (1 Replies, 1,007 Views) by jaskailey88
And by the way nothing actually happened between me and the girl
Thread: R&B song (1 Replies, 1,007 Views) by jaskailey88
I mostly write rap but I've experimented by writing a few R&B songs. Let me know what you think
I musta been around seventeen
When I met this girl in the canteen
And it caught me unaware,...
Thread: 1st unfinished rap verse (15 Replies, 4,319 Views) by jaskailey88
I like it :) Considering its your first time its actually pretty good. I particularly like this line "One of those tv adds that say they can solve it"
Thread: Exam Stress (1 Replies, 5,544 Views) by jaskailey88
This was a fun rap I wrote a few months ago while revising for exams. Let me know what you think x
Verse 1:
Exams round the corner, Stress on my shoulders
So much responsibility but still...
Thread: Crimson Regret (really dark...) (3 Replies, 1,251 Views) by jaskailey88
I actually really like your lyrics you know :) even though Im more of a rap guy
Thread: My first rap. Please rate (11 Replies, 2,304 Views) by jaskailey88
Thankyou for liking it :) It means alot coming from you
Thread: My first rap. Please rate (11 Replies, 2,304 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey molotova I've edited it. Let me know what you think but I didnt wanna use any of your lyrics as they were your lyrics. And thanks again big mike but no I havent. I had a beat in mind tho
Thread: New Rap- Boom Boom Baby (1 Replies, 1,739 Views) by jaskailey88
This aint a rap. It might make a decent r&b song though but the subject area is kinda weak and overdone not meanin 2 sound offensive . Have you got more lyrics?
Thread: How many more lives are gonna be lost (1 Replies, 956 Views) by jaskailey88
A much more direct rap. This was something I had come up with when I had newly started writing so its needs alot of polishing up
VERSE 1:
They bayin 4 ur blood eyes filled with hate,
In front...
Thread: Thrashin and beatin. (6 Replies, 886 Views) by jaskailey88
No worries man I enjoy reading stuff where the person is not going on about great he is. Are you planning to write this as a rap cause u shud try choppin it in to 2 verses to make it flow better....
Thread: Thrashin and beatin. (6 Replies, 886 Views) by jaskailey88
Wow that was some deep stuff man. I really liked
Thread: Letter To Mr. R (1 Replies, 1,560 Views) by jaskailey88
Not really my style but I really like this! Especially the concept behind it. Took me quite a while to get the gist of what you were saying but I defo liked the way you put your point across :)
Thread: Hip Hop Song (2 Replies, 1,086 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey you probably didnt expect such a late reply. Just saw this rap now and its very good. You rapped about stuff that is personal to you and didnt just go on about yourself which I liked. Im not...
Thread: the perfect girl (2 Replies, 1,232 Views) by jaskailey88
The second verse is dodgy I admit and does not flow well so am still working on it
Thread: the perfect girl (2 Replies, 1,232 Views) by jaskailey88
Need help coming up with a chorus but let me know what you think of the rest. The flow is still kinda off
Verse 1:
I was on my way home when I saw this girl one Evening,
Her eyes her hair...
Thread: Hood life is not for me. (5 Replies, 7,026 Views) by jaskailey88
man that **** was deep. I really liked the lyrics. They were meaningful and it had a good flow to it. Some pretty dope lines there. Did you rap this 2 a beat?
Thread: More recent rap (EDITED VERSION) (5 Replies, 1,547 Views) by jaskailey88
Hey thanks for the honest feedback. Yeah I tend to rap in my head but dont really have a beat in mind so I do tend to struggle with the flow. I think I shud cut the last 2 lines of the first verse as...
Thread: More recent rap (EDITED VERSION) (5 Replies, 1,547 Views) by jaskailey88
I've edited the existing version. Any feedback will be appreciated :)
VERSE 1:
Girl you got more issues than you got shoes,
Tryna make me understand but im just getting more confused,...
Thread: My first rap. Please rate (11 Replies, 2,304 Views) by jaskailey88
I didnt come up with this after 8 months of writing. This was one of my very first songs so I kept it very simple. I will post my more recent lyrics soon to see what people think and get a better...
Thread: My first rap. Please rate (11 Replies, 2,304 Views) by jaskailey88
Safe man you seem like a rapper yourself. I cant freestyle or come up with good punchlines but I can rhyme well and come up with decent metaphors here and there so I just focus on that for now. I got...
Thread: My first rap. Please rate (11 Replies, 2,304 Views) by jaskailey88
Hello I am new on here. I am an aspiring rapper. I have been writing for about 8 months now and was wondering if you could give me feedback on this rap I came up when I had just started writing. I...