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Thread: Innocent X (0 Replies, 1,378 Views) by Grendels
Today a man died of a plastic heart
He had a tattoo that said 'innocent x' on his shoulder.
He was running like the devil from an angry mob
Who were searching for forgiveness in a price tag God...
Thread: I'm baaaack (6 Replies, 2,057 Views) by Grendels
Nice rap, really stung, you get better every time you write... Now for the sake of continuity I'll start this up again..
Wreck louts, freeze minds, now you bloody
Check out, these lines, how to...
Thread: I'm baaaack (6 Replies, 2,057 Views) by Grendels
You are a rookie, rap about fast cars that dream's still far ajar
hate to rasp apart but this is an art, and you’re not a star
In cold water get rolled by the armada your mold can’t be farther...
Thread: Lets start a freestyle rap battle. (103 Replies, 286,231 Views) by Grendels
You're cold rhymes stink like old grime in a slimy sink
It clinks along not strong, doesn't even get close to the brink
I think of better lies at the blink of an eye,
your s*** tickles me pink...
Thread: Written in the Stars rap remake - Jfam. Comments? (5 Replies, 3,433 Views) by Grendels
It's great, impeccable flow.
Thread: Beat tomorrow (2 Replies, 1,432 Views) by Grendels
Just wrote this in my spare time... writing these things are really fun lol, tell me what you think
How’s it goin’?
Oh you know, just flowin…
To a sick a beat, it’s where I meet the other...
Thread: A good name for a one man band. (38 Replies, 13,863 Views) by Grendels
Buy my CD's and merchandise. Gotta hit them with subliminal messages like that..
Or mauled by poodles... something like that... yeah...
OR if you wanna be all self righteous and provide some...
Thread: First Rap...opinions? (3 Replies, 1,751 Views) by Grendels
It's good, you have rhyming at the ends of lines down, now work on more complex rhymes... You don't HAVE to rhyme at the end of every line:
I'm great at rhymes
I'm always in time
They throw you...
Thread: In a box (second rap, comments appreciated) (1 Replies, 1,320 Views) by Grendels
Well.. decided to procrastinate a little bit more and write another one of these, tell me what you think... Probably needs revision...
I’ve had a gun inside
It’s been in my mind since the young...
Thread: Dreams (first rap, opinions please) (4 Replies, 2,069 Views) by Grendels
:) Thanks, really appreciate that.... but what are "multis"... I've never really listen to a whole lot of rap or written rap lyrics so I have no idea what that means.
Thread: Dreams (first rap, opinions please) (4 Replies, 2,069 Views) by Grendels
Been listening to alot of hiphop and rap lately, thought I'd make one myself, this is my first one tell me what you think...
Watching your hopes die before your eyes,
You ask god why, but...
Thread: i think of dumb **** when im high (3 Replies, 1,447 Views) by Grendels
Make more... with even more weed references... this makes me wanna go smoke some chronic right now... In fact I think I will, thanks OP.
Thread: Clean conscious (0 Replies, 1,988 Views) by Grendels
I look upon the failures of my father
So numerous that when observed from afar
The collective resembles a crude painting
Constructed by ill turned brush strokes
Inside the paradigm of a loving...
Thread: Guts - **** Your Dead Grans Mouth (2 Replies, 1,913 Views) by Grendels
Made me lol for realz... maybe I'm just sick... but I guess that makes two of us.
Thread: Get away (0 Replies, 1,286 Views) by Grendels
Comments and opinions appreciated.
Tapped the well dry again
Just feeble words behind your eyes, festering cancer of the mind
Turns you blind, left to create deities out of mice
Pseudo...
Thread: Waste in memoriam (in memory of), tell me what you think (3 Replies, 1,521 Views) by Grendels
Thanks you guys :).
Thread: Waste in memoriam (in memory of), tell me what you think (3 Replies, 1,521 Views) by Grendels
About someone dead. I've been working on a melody, to put over some riffs, and decided to put some words on top of it, tell me what you think.
If I broke the sky, would I see your face?
High up...
Thread: "Rap" text, first few lines (3 Replies, 2,090 Views) by Grendels
Damn... it's pretty good... "But when they box us up and sink us ten feet below
It doesnt matter what youre worth in silver or gold" <-- best part imo... make some more please, great flow.
Thread: Parody of life (5 Replies, 2,688 Views) by Grendels
Good, really good, sounds like it could be a punk song... has a really nice flow. It's good right down to the title "Parody of life", I like that, really great ideas man.
"At school we are taught...
Thread: New metal song plz comment im newer. Made it better. Let me know (1 Replies, 1,631 Views) by Grendels
This is good, but it needs some work.
There is some repetitiveness in the way you attack the subject matter, you obviously dislike this person, tell why. "You ****ed everything up" isn't quite good...
Thread: Lock me up again (1 Replies, 2,057 Views) by Grendels
Suffocation feels so right with you
I’m in a cage, with all exits open and in view
And like a bird I fly for freedom, and I claw myself away
But something in my mind betrays my better nature, and...
Thread: Bad place in my mind (2 Replies, 1,737 Views) by Grendels
Bad place in my mind
Bad place I can't hide
Bad place in my mind
Is eating away at what is mine
What is mine, is a memory
Fatal yet graceful, all the same
Of a time when we left the womb,...
Thread: Insidious demise (0 Replies, 1,483 Views) by Grendels
Alright this is my second lyrical attempt, probably has some spelling errors. Tell me what you think.
Crystal lies, your eyes,
Your eyes they split inside me
Sting wounds like poison ivy...
Thread: Prototype (3 Replies, 1,608 Views) by Grendels
I’m alone
I’d like to reach inside and touch my soul
I’d like to look to the sky and see a god
I’d like to touch his hand and know he cares and loves
I’d like to live by his infallible fair...