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Thread: Renaming Threads/Topics (7 Replies, 4,518 Views) by chiQ
Brilliant, thanks :)
Thread: Another Drink Tonight (3 Replies, 2,670 Views) by chiQ
I'd have to agree with Tim, though rather than repeating the tonight on the third line I'd put alright. It emphasises the wry tone you seem to be after.
Thread: Passenger Seat (3 Replies, 1,370 Views) by chiQ
I'll critique when there's another verse. Sorry to be contrary, but I need more!
Thread: Burning Out (3 Replies, 1,515 Views) by chiQ
It is very basic, but rolls nicely :)
Thread: Renaming Threads/Topics (7 Replies, 4,518 Views) by chiQ
Hi, I was wanting to do this, but if a board staff member needs to step in then a deletion would be even better. I double-posted in the lyric review forum:
...
Thread: Angel - content may be disturbing to some - review welcome (0 Replies, 1,163 Views) by chiQ
This is a first draft, so any and all constructive criticism welcome:
ANGEL
Battering, banging and utterly relentless
An assault so vile that I cannot repress
All the horror and pain causing...
Thread: Song lyric review please (4 Replies, 1,452 Views) by chiQ
I really like this. I'd like to see more. Nice job.
Actually, it's nice to see someone who uses conventional old rhyming patterns and cadence as I do. I've never got my head around more organic...
Thread: reaching out (3 Replies, 1,281 Views) by chiQ
I can't really advise you, as all my ability lies in fairly evenly metered, rhyming lyrics, and to be frank I'm not someone who really understands how to work words into more organic structures. I...
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Hey Boom!
Absolutely! I'd be very keen to hear what you come up with. Will you sing it? :)
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Well, it's hard rock in my head, but I guess it could work quite well with a gentler sound. I really like the idea of a dirty great guitar solo before 'Sparkling waters...' though :)
Thread: No More (first song) (1 Replies, 980 Views) by chiQ
That's great. I like the lyrics and the sentiments, a lot _b
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Hey :)
Sorry, I didn't see your reply until now, or I'd have responded to you sooner.
No, no music yet. I've got a buddy who's going to write some for the lyrics when he gets time, but thanks...
Thread: Tell me why...? (2 Replies, 1,333 Views) by chiQ
That's really great _b
Thread: do you like these lyrics? (7 Replies, 1,808 Views) by chiQ
Thanks :)
Thread: Seeking Me - a sad little song (0 Replies, 1,235 Views) by chiQ
A minor tragedy, this one...
It's meant to be a low-tempo ballad all about sorrow and desperation:
I need freedom from my mind
Please come to me with relief
Come inside and bring the sky...
Thread: Thanking people... (96 Replies, 24,522 Views) by chiQ
This is a request/suggestion for the administrators. All the people who have been helpful and kind to me have done so in the lyrics review forum, and yet there's no way for me to thank them in there....
Thread: Bad Luck Jane (Needs Lyrics!) (2 Replies, 3,022 Views) by chiQ
I'd be keen to give Michael a shot. You can mail me at lilt at rammstein.me if you're interested. I have lyrical writing (original) at lyrics.rammstein.me and (English adaptions of Rammstein's stuff)...
Thread: do you like these lyrics? (7 Replies, 1,808 Views) by chiQ
In that case perhaps something like:
A glimpse from the corner of my eye
Could it be that this wasn't goodbye?
I take a second look just to be sure
And find it's a book, partially obscured
...
Thread: Adaption - Nebel (Mist) - would really like feedback (0 Replies, 1,223 Views) by chiQ
http://lilt.rammstein.me/2009/06/lilt-nebel-30.html
This is an adaption of Till Lindemann's Nebel (Rammstein). The original German and a translation by Jeremy Williams can be found here:
...
Thread: do you like these lyrics? (7 Replies, 1,808 Views) by chiQ
Yes, I agree. In particular:
I looked up and i saw a light
Is it real, or is it just my sight
I got up to get a better look
Oh, wait its just a book
You'd do better to change the final word...
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Sadly, I don't have any musical ability at all (I'm all about cadence and words), but the good news is that I have a very good friend who does, and he's going to write music for this one, when he...
Thread: me versus you (2 Replies, 1,282 Views) by chiQ
Nice - I like the last two lines of verse two a lot _b
Thread: First Song - Need Feedback (4 Replies, 1,252 Views) by chiQ
Well, I think closing on the last verse, maybe with "I've come so far" as an exit refrain would work better than closing with the chorus. Maybe cut the last chorus or move it to before the last verse?
Thread: First Song - Need Feedback (4 Replies, 1,252 Views) by chiQ
I like it a lot. The sentiments in it are nice, and it flows nicely. I don't think you need another verse.
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
<Edit>Sorry, I posted my notes without explaining double-you tee eff they are. Below are the notes I made before I started writing, when I'd worked out the imagery I wanted to use.</edit>
The...
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Hi Acheramee. Thanks so much :D
Yes, I've posted one here:
http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/lyrics-review/68499-to-my-muse.html
I also have a new site for my lyrics at...
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Thank you very much :)
Thread: To my Muse (0 Replies, 1,568 Views) by chiQ
This is the first draft, so it's going to get a lot more attention:
Muse 1.0
Out there painting a new world
Urging me to grow and unfurl
Perfect forms I see clear as day
Enabling me to have...
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Ah okay, thanks :)
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
Thanks guys :D
That's great - positive feedback on a first effort is a buzz.
BTW How you do "Thank" someone via the forum? In the rules topic I read about thanking people, and there's a thanks...
Thread: My first song (5 Replies, 1,754 Views) by chiQ
As a poem I really like it. It's very cool http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/images/icons/icon14.gif
I'm not sure about it as a song though, as it seems to be inconsistent rhythmically, but that's...
Thread: First Song Ever - constructive criticism please :) (20 Replies, 3,256 Views) by chiQ
The Spark:
There's a stain in the water
And it's spreading with the tide
Giving off vaporous fumes
The tainted waves subside
Like nothing will ever be the same
The soul starts to lose its...
Thread: Pain (Three Days Grace) (4 Replies, 5,474 Views) by chiQ
Well, I can't offer hugely knowledgeable feedback, as I'm completely new to this myself, but I like it a lot :)
Thread: Rammstein and other german bands (3 Replies, 2,089 Views) by chiQ
Their Wikipedia page has lots of information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rammstein
That links to individual band member pages.
I don't know a lot about them, though I'm a big fan, simply...
Thread: LILT: Rammstein translations re-lyricised (6 Replies, 2,010 Views) by chiQ
There are two now.
One of them has started recording and is putting her recording with her own instrumental adaption of Klavier. She's also changed my lyrics a fair bit to fit that.
The other...
Thread: Rammstein - Sonne - solved (12 Replies, 3,172 Views) by chiQ
NP. I'm on something of a Rammstein lyrics mission myself at the moment, so I'm just passing on information other people have been kind enough to share with me :)
Thread: Rammstein - Sonne - solved (12 Replies, 3,172 Views) by chiQ
This might be helpful:
http://herzeleid.com/en/lyrics/mutter#sonne
Jeremy has translated all of their songs into English.
The song was originally commissioned as an anthem for a...
Thread: something to write songs about. (4 Replies, 8,152 Views) by chiQ
Anything from a fun car to a beautiful scene, or a friend. Look at your life.
Thread: LILT: Rammstein translations re-lyricised (6 Replies, 2,010 Views) by chiQ
For sure. A singer from Herzeleid.com's community is planning to record some of these songs for me, so if he's happy for me to post them publicly I'll do that :)
(I'm a seriously bad singer)
Thread: Hello from the back of beyond (2 Replies, 2,129 Views) by chiQ
Hi Steffi, thanks :)
Thread: LILT: Rammstein translations re-lyricised (6 Replies, 2,010 Views) by chiQ
Hi Liv :)
Thanks for that. They're both really good, and I appreciate you taking the time.
Thread: Favorite Lyricists (31 Replies, 15,303 Views) by chiQ
Till Lindemann
Martin Gore
John Lennon
Thread: Hello from the back of beyond (2 Replies, 2,129 Views) by chiQ
Hi :)
I'm a New Zealander, and I've just shifted from poetry to lyrics. So far I've done one song, which I haven't matched to music yet (I'm not actually musical). The rest of my new-found passion...
Thread: LILT: Rammstein translations re-lyricised (6 Replies, 2,010 Views) by chiQ
I'm not sure if this is the best place for this thread or not. If not can a moderator move the thread for me please?
I've started a project that I've named LILT. I'm taking English translations of...