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LOVED IT WHEN I READ IT IN 2001 and I love it...
Thread: Dragon Hunt (28 Replies, 9,906 Views) by jessie zuppo
LOVED IT WHEN I READ IT IN 2001 and I love it reading again today...I actually heard you put this song to music...breath-taking...2001-2002- your heart and soul were in your writing. I see this as a...
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Doug,
I actually like this piece. It is one of...
Thread: T.v. (10 Replies, 5,036 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
I actually like this piece. It is one of your shortest. With that being said, in every song/poem you write, you allow the reader to see a sliver, a glimpse of YOU. this is what I like about... -
I llike how you brought some intimate imagery...
Thread: Love On A Platter (15 Replies, 7,917 Views) by jessie zuppo
I llike how you brought some intimate imagery into this piece...I love "Love on a Platter" as the title and as an excellent metaphor. Knowing the narrative and background of this piece helps me...
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Thank you Frankie, this provided me with a better...
Thread: It Takes Money (29 Replies, 9,386 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thank you Frankie, this provided me with a better understanding of Doug's inspirations
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Mexico62,
I couldn't agree more. I'm a more...
Thread: It Takes Money (29 Replies, 9,386 Views) by jessie zuppo
Mexico62,
I couldn't agree more. I'm a more 'poetry' person and even 'spoken word', but this song is stellar! I'm so happy that others are able to see Doug's immense propensity in writing hit songs! -
I couldn't agree with you more Frankie! I, too,...
Thread: It Takes Money (29 Replies, 9,386 Views) by jessie zuppo
I couldn't agree with you more Frankie! I, too, love that stanza b/c it's straight from the heart and it's boldly truthful.
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This is my first look! Love it
Thread: It Takes Money (29 Replies, 9,386 Views) by jessie zuppo
This is my first look! Love it
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Dougie,
I recently saw a post that you stated...
Thread: It Takes Money (29 Replies, 9,386 Views) by jessie zuppo
Dougie,
I recently saw a post that you stated you had 44 songs posted online...! I've only read and critiqued a handful of those, so I did a little digging and I found this gem! Wow and the fact... -
Thank you Frankie!! I'm so happy that you were...
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thank you Frankie!! I'm so happy that you were able to see the hurt I was feeling- and in reality when we are hurt at such a deep level,. and a 'friend' shows their true colors, we DO use profanity....
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Doug, sometimes poems or songs that are SO good...
Thread: Empty (10 Replies, 6,753 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug, sometimes poems or songs that are SO good in a more complex way- we find ourselves speechless..Frankie takes us on a journey in this piece, I think it's beautiful....and the title is the bow on...
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The comic in you comes out in your writing..I...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
The comic in you comes out in your writing..I think it's genius!! You have a very campy type of humor that not many people have...so to bring something like that into your work- it's new, it's...
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read it...
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and critique it- it's very much appreciated. You're right. Hate was the emotion I was feeling as I let these words flow onto my notebook and the tears...
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Thank you so much!! Both of these poems, actually...
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thank you so much!! Both of these poems, actually ALL OF MY POEMS ("Thank you", "Aaron", and "Cristene") are narratives of times in my life- and they are very, VERY much real!
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Yes!! In complete jest, though! Does that really...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Yes!! In complete jest, though! Does that really sound like something I would say?? I mean, I love kids...but some expressions are so abused, it's just corny as hell to repeat them! So, essentially,...
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Yes!! In complete jest, though! Does that really...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Yes!! In complete jest, though! Does that really sound like something I would say?? I mean, I love kids...but some expressions are so abused, it's just corny as hell to repeat them! So, essentially,...
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it all's about the kids...god, how I f^^^ing hate...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
it all's about the kids...god, how I f^^^ing hate that expression...I adore kids...just not grown ups that much!
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Exactly!!! LMAO!!
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
Exactly!!! LMAO!!
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I agree and disagree. I think the lyrics, in...
Thread: Opposites Attract (32 Replies, 7,659 Views) by jessie zuppo
I agree and disagree. I think the lyrics, in their simplicity, are earth-shattering. I agree that it would be a great song, b/c as you said, some of the best songs have very simple lyrics-which is...
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Doug,
I have to say, I'm aware this is about me,...
Thread: Opposites Attract (32 Replies, 7,659 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
I have to say, I'm aware this is about me, but you hit it dead on~ this rhythm is amaazzzinnnggg. This is a definite love song...it has quick, catchy rhymes and it ends on a note and a quote... -
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment....
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I, too, am very busy. It means that much more to me. Yes, I def. catch your drift...from one addict to another- I feel your struggle, pain, and I wish...
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ahhh...I see that ATL has censored our...
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
ahhh...I see that ATL has censored our language...I get the bad reference now....those ****ing ******* censors!! LMAO!!
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bad? Like "bad ***"? or "bad-sh*tty?" Thank you,...
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
bad? Like "bad ***"? or "bad-sh*tty?" Thank you, either way. I appreciate the time you took to read it and give me feedback, I will definitely write more...check out "Aaron"..it's a poem about my...
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LOL!!! This is so "you" Dougie!! I love how you...
Thread: Empty (10 Replies, 6,753 Views) by jessie zuppo
LOL!!! This is so "you" Dougie!! I love how you incorporated "jack and jill" in your critique...yeah, you did miss the boat....but, you're happy rolling down the hill with your pail!!!
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I agree...I'm not sure when this piece was...
Thread: Empty (10 Replies, 6,753 Views) by jessie zuppo
I agree...I'm not sure when this piece was written either, but the imagery is at a very professional level. First, I envision the outcast in a bathroom stall, then a lonely, and confused woman who is...
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Frankie,
This is amazing! I want to apologize...
Thread: Empty (10 Replies, 6,753 Views) by jessie zuppo
Frankie,
This is amazing! I want to apologize for not reading more of your pieces- I'm still unfamiliar with the tech. involved on atl....checking my mailbox, etc...I'm learning!!
"A heart the... -
I agree!! These lines are mind-blowing!! The...
Thread: Bedroom Eyes (29 Replies, 7,134 Views) by jessie zuppo
I agree!! These lines are mind-blowing!! The whispering with the bedroom eyes is stuck in my head!! And the visual of a burlesque, curvy woman with wind in her dirty blonde hair, fishnet stockings, a...
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I agree that it's classic, but I feel a more...
Thread: Bedroom Eyes (29 Replies, 7,134 Views) by jessie zuppo
I agree that it's classic, but I feel a more modern poem, than a song from this piece. Perhaps if there was a repeating stanza...Doug, I know you imagine your lyrics in a more 60's ish music scene,...
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Doug,
I love re-reading your pieces. You have...
Thread: Bedroom Eyes (29 Replies, 7,134 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
I love re-reading your pieces. You have the gift of engaging the reader WITH ALL THE SENSES...visual- "Dishwater Blonde"....smell "30's perfume"...Touch "it's now or never, time to make my... -
Amaryn, thank you so much for your feedback. I...
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
Amaryn, thank you so much for your feedback. I truly truly respect it because your talent is god-given. Thank you so much for not just dismissing it because of the vernacular. As a gifted writer, you...
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I learned everything I know from you....
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
I see what you mean, Doug....there have been some atrocious pieces posted...with the most fake comments and critique...let's keep it real PEOPLE...And Dougie, I will definitely be posting some...
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Cristene
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,294 Views) by jessie zuppo
Cristene-
You're a C*NT
From the back
and from the
front
When you showed me
your true side
I was mortified
to find an evil b*tch -
This poem is stunning!!! Oh my goodness- the word...
Thread: amaryn poetry and pics 2013 (318 Replies, 75,792 Views) by jessie zuppo
This poem is stunning!!! Oh my goodness- the word choices, the detailed descriptions...you allow your reader to embark on this journey WITH you- which is just remarkable. In that sense, it is a very...
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Amaryn,
This is quite beautiful. I just love...
Thread: amaryn poetry and pics 2013 (318 Replies, 75,792 Views) by jessie zuppo
Amaryn,
This is quite beautiful. I just love the fluidity of one line to the next. Your use of imagery is masterful. To be able to make a trait 'arrogance' take on a persona is just amazing. The... -
After re-reading this, it's becoming more and...
Thread: Pumpkinhead (36 Replies, 11,949 Views) by jessie zuppo
After re-reading this, it's becoming more and more clear to me that you DO PUT YOURSELF and your feelings into your lyrics. Some may say humor is used as a mask for dormant emotional pain or baggage....
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Thank you so much for this comment...I just now...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thank you so much for this comment...I just now saw it! I love the poetry that you made by culminating others' comments!! Superb!
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Zak, I too felt that a more simple title of...
Thread: Fantasyland Magic (16 Replies, 4,531 Views) by jessie zuppo
Zak, I too felt that a more simple title of "Magic" would have been better- the title instantly made me think of Disneyland. However, that visual could be a metaphor to the relationship with this...
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Doug,
Oh this is SO YOU! What I really love...
Thread: Fantasyland Magic (16 Replies, 4,531 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
Oh this is SO YOU! What I really love about you as both an individual and as a songwriter/poet is that you embrace old-fashioned, yet timeless notions of romance. This song could be... -
Wow!!!! You're going to be recording this? I hope...
Thread: One For The Road (24 Replies, 8,822 Views) by jessie zuppo
Wow!!!! You're going to be recording this? I hope so! This is a definite song that needs to be heard (exactly what you said!)
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Wow!! This is def. a piece of work that embodies...
Thread: In Sunny Mexico (24 Replies, 10,451 Views) by jessie zuppo
Wow!! This is def. a piece of work that embodies the essence of imagery!! "Stars wink at the pale moonlight..." that is beautiful! Not only is it beautiful, but I am able to envision this is my mind....
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Doug,
I really enjoyed reading this! it's funny...
Thread: One For The Road (24 Replies, 8,822 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
I really enjoyed reading this! it's funny that you mention the genre of music (classic rock) because when I read it, the rhyme & rhythm flowed like beat boxing or freestyle hip hop! That... -
Couldn't agree with you more!! Contemporary,...
Thread: Real Problems (45 Replies, 12,687 Views) by jessie zuppo
Couldn't agree with you more!! Contemporary, progressive...PUNK ROCK----"hey ho, let's go"..iconic punk rock song...the best thing about this song is that it is versatile- and that's what makes it...
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Doug,
From the bottom of my heart- THANK YOU....
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
From the bottom of my heart- THANK YOU. On a personal note, you were part of the journey that led me to embrace a Higher Power. On a professional note- what a stellar compliment. I know you... -
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Yes, thank you! I am very happy that you've...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
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Yes, thank you! I am very happy that you've had a spiritual epiphany as well! Ever since the day ( 7 years ago) that I let down my guard and allowed not only people but my higher power into my... -
Doug,
I love this- BECAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT!! God...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
I love this- BECAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT!! God has been within you this whole time- no one person in this planet can tell another how/when/where or who they have faith'in. For me, it is the cosmic... -
Doug,
I love how you merged your kooky sense...
Thread: Gravedigger Kid (28 Replies, 6,712 Views) by jessie zuppo
Doug,
I love how you merged your kooky sense of humor into something that EVERYONE can enjoy! I LOVE the chorus! The ending is so ridiculously funny that it allows the reader to be, just for a... -
Frankie,
This is my first time reading this!!...
Thread: Thank You (39 Replies, 14,851 Views) by jessie zuppo
Frankie,
This is my first time reading this!! Thank you SO MUCH for this inspiring critique! I hold your critiques in very high regard b/c you are so talented as a writer and so eloquent and... -
I very much appreciate your critique of my poem....
Thread: Aaron (8 Replies, 3,734 Views) by jessie zuppo
I very much appreciate your critique of my poem. Thank you so much- yes, you are right- expanding out of my 'realist' poems would really catapult my writing...that is such an awesome suggestion! I...
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Frankie, first of all it's an honor for me to...
Thread: Aaron (8 Replies, 3,734 Views) by jessie zuppo
Frankie, first of all it's an honor for me to have you read this piece! I love and admire your critique.
Yes, Aaron's death was incredibly painful, but not so much anymore...instead of a pulsating... -
I also like this piece- it's very 'old school'...
Thread: Memories (4 Replies, 3,028 Views) by jessie zuppo
I also like this piece- it's very 'old school' with a fresh twist- I got a sense of 'pain', 'loss' and 'grief'- not 'love' per say, but 'love that was lost' which is addicting to read as a writer...
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Thanks Dougie...wish I had the time to network...
Thread: Aaron (8 Replies, 3,734 Views) by jessie zuppo
Thanks Dougie...wish I had the time to network with all the other great writers on this site- but, well, you know how my life is...lol, so thank you for the compliment..