First verse of a song i am working on. Please give your opinion!

He looked down upon his calloused fingers.
bloodied and dry after a 12 hour day.
Slaving to support the greed of a land far away.
Where they deny the connection between their consumption and his despair.
Eyes closed, ears covered they press on without a care.
Until the day hes no longer there.

I like this, although it seems more like a poem. The 4th line is much longer than the others and I wonder how it may fit in or flow with the rest of the words and music that would be added. It seems to have too many syllables compared to the other lines. But I do like the story you started to tell. Try to keep the same idea in less words on line 4 if you can. If you have a melody in your head, that line may fit in, but I just can't see it because I don't know the melody you have. I look forward to seeing where you are going with this.