Not finished ><

Ok so its been a rediculously long time since i posted on here, but ive had major writers block....which ended last night! SO i present to you a song. its unfinished because i still need to come up with a nice hook that ive rewritten about 10 times and the last verse i want to get my friend to rap on it...and he doesnt know about it yet! soooo here it is.


Its had when all you have is so far away
When you try and try to break
But you can't clean the stains
From the mess that this has caused
From the pain that breaks your heart.
No way to measure up
No way to cover up

Yes it's difficult to trust
Another one that comes along
Difficult to share the pain
That holds the bonds
Like the ones that hold the scattered winds
Or charge the raging sea
No way to know for sure
No way to let the cure

Come in
This road seems like a long one
You don't feel the need to carry on no
Struggle all to great for the long run
But please, baby please, just hold on.

Don't tell me that your finished because of one bad roll.
Don't let that little buzzing tell you "You've failed them all!"
You know exactly what you're worth inside
So rise above It all
Over all
Of the Adversity

Because
This road seems like a long one
but please, baby please, just hold on
When you don't feel the need to carry on no
When the struggles all to great for the long run
Call on me, baby please, just hold on.

(insert missing chorus)

(insert missing last verse)

(insert missing chorus again)

I really really need feedback on this. Some would be immensely apprechiated.

I thought it was amazing. Better than anything I could attempt

This is really good, and I love the way you spread the emotions from internal to external and so on. It has a nice feel to it, good rhythm and it imparts a solid message. Very nice, very enjoyable