A Song I Wrote that actually rhymes!

Song: 6ft under (is where i will lay)

An image distorted in my mind
I don't like what I find
Everytime I close my eyes I see
A girl I will never be
No matter how much I lose in this game
I know that it's dangerous but I feel the same
Every pound that's taken off
Its sound I still hear
It's telling me to stop eating food
And suddenly I am not in the mood

(Chorus)
It's a fighting strike
A will to take light
A might so strong it's taking over me
I don't like what I see
A pledge to be perfect in every way
If I keep 6ft under is where I lay

You can start to see my ribs bones'
And I hear the others moan
They tell me I was just fine before
but I keep losing more and more
It's a agme that you have to lose
Before a spark starts the fuse
But sometimes it's too late
and sometimes it's fate

(chorus)
I don't want to feel this way
I want beauty to stay
I don't feel pretty
I feel ashamed
Because now I see
What i always feared i would be.

(chorus)

Now i know that there are girl like me
But remember the face in the mirror isn't all you should see.
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Hi i am thirteen and i wnated some constructive critisim. Yes this is my first song that actually ryhmes. Lol. Umm the theme is very close to me, and if you are going through it too, i know how you feel

I like it.
It takes an in-depth look at the world of the "super-skinny celebrities".

It's really good, but maybe a bit too direct. That makes it read more like a poem because songs are kind of mysterious and you don't quite know what it's about, if you know what i mean. I'm not sure about the line 'It's telling me to stop eating food'.

well it is about an experiance i had. I was once anorexic