a Song i made but haven't made a title.

Tell me what you think of this song but keep it in mind that it's not complete and feel free comments and tell me what title i should name it ^_^

Late in night though I can't sleep
Felts my conscience falling too deep
Saw long darkness distort the images
A sense to feel through chaos and lock the cage
The body i used only felt for illusion
Deep in my soul was wandering in confusion

I can't breathe, it was sway by emotions
Hide from feeling, something crawling on me
my eyesight looking through saturation
all my traits, they are failing to be
Only myself, i might able to understand
if i ever feel function enough to make intents
Does god created us to feel this way?
to see the twilight rise for this day?

All is lost, Fall to dark dimension
Where everything fall into distortion
I can feel the sounds that I can't hear
My presence shut down as I feared
I've lost my moment to live in freedom
Stirring panic passed like a storm
Living consciences are in the lost darkness
Time move forward and deeper in the abyss
God created us to feel this way
To see the twilight rise for this day

The smell of despair lies in the void
I've tried to shout but its stole my voice
Searching for a exit but there no escape
Scream in fear was like your life was raped
Soon, your dark side will come to take your place
To go to your world and corrupt the human race

Don't try to be longing for despair
All you can do is to aimlessly stare
empty darkness will waste your lives
this the only place where there no mean to survive
Does god created us to feel this way?
To see the twilight rise for this day?

All is lost, Fall to dark dimension
Where everything fall into distortion
I can feel the sounds that I can't hear
My presence shut down as I feared
I've lost my moment to live in freedom
Stirring panic passed like a storm
Living consciences are in the lost darkness
Time move forward and deeper in the abyss
God created us to feel this way
To see the twilight rise for this day

bump?? no comment??

I think Dark Dimension would be a nice title ! (Sorry, I can't make up titles)
But I really like the way you write

thank you Angel well yeah i guess it good actually.

It's kinda symbolic of confusion
I like the title it already has.
It's untitled.doc

what about "rise for this day"?

yeah you right jeff it's involved Symbolic of confusion, well maybe Dark dimension or I'm feeling distorted or "Twilight" as in doom? the fact the song partially represent confusion is making me confused XD. Ewag, "rise for this day" somehow doesn't fit the feeling of it.

¬_¬
It's JeffS
Not Jeff

Sorry JeffS XD

B.u.m.p.

Quit bumping.
It's dead.
Put the defibrillator down.