Can anyone help me with this line?

Thread: Can anyone help me with this line?

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  1. Tracy-Turnblad's Avatar

    Tracy-Turnblad said:

    Default Can anyone help me with this line?

    I just wrote this, but i've drawn a blank at the third line, any suggestions?

    I have to wonder if this wave’s too big to ride
    Come in or not come in it’s such a crazy tide
    *any suggestions?*
    And I’ll regret it if I don’t try

    I’m gonna dive right under
    Going out of the average person’s depth
    Wanna see if I can stand up
    I’m gonna dive right under
    Here I go hoping I’ll come out on top
    Even though I could break a leg
    I’m gonna dive right under
    I’m gonna dive right under


    There’s just one question that is still haunting my mind
    What if I stumble at the first hurdle I find?
    Even if I keep getting told I’m out
    I’ll just try again and there’s no doubt

    I’m gonna dive right under
    Going out of the average person’s depth
    Wanna see if I can stand up
    I’m gonna dive right under
    Here I go hoping I’ll come out on top
    Even though I could break a leg
    I’m gonna dive right under
    I’m gonna dive right under
     
  2. atmaestro's Avatar

    atmaestro said:

    Default

    (All) My instincts say it's suicide
    But I’ll regret it if I don’t try
    Them that can, do; them that can't... memorize Artist and Title
     
  3. Reags said:

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    Nothing scares me more but I want to fly
    And I'll regret it if I dont try.
     
  4. Musicismyfirstlove said:

    Default

    This must really be the all time high
    And I’ll regret it if I don’t try
     
  5. HellBellsLiveWire said:

    Default

    It's time to shed this endless diguise
    And I'll Regret if I don't try

    I must break free from these venomous lies
    And I'll regret if I don't try

    I must live the days that fade with time
    And I'll regret if I don't try

    Forever silencing their endless cries
    And I'll regret if I don't try

    I'll fall in love and open my mind
    And I'll regret if I don't try

    If I open my eyes the truth will blind
    But I'll regret if I don't try

    I'll break these chains and leave the world behind
    And I'll regret If I don't try
     
  6. Jean1singer said:

    Default

    Miley Cyrus wrote the beggining geez!
     
  7. Reags said:

    Default

    I love how this thread shows us that a single line can change an entire song.


    - Sarcasm.
     
  8. Jester's Avatar

    Jester said:

    Default

    I've changed it somewhere as I believe it could be improved...

    VERSE 1:
    I have to wonder if this wave’s too big to ride
    Come in or not - It’s a crazy tide
    It's a feelin' I have deep inside
    And I’ll regret it if I don’t try


    VERSE 2:
    There’s just one question that is still haunting my mind
    What if I stumble with what I'm looking to find?
    Even if I keep getting told I’m out
    I’ll just try again and there’s no doubt




    The chorus I don't know about:

    I’m gonna dive right under
    Going out of the average person’s depth
    Wanna see if I can stand up
    I’m gonna dive right under
    Here I go hoping I’ll come out on top
    Even though I could break a leg
    I’m gonna dive right under
    I’m gonna dive right under
    It doesn't scan that well... Maybe if you changed the 2nd line or shortened it a tad.
     
  9. Tracy-Turnblad's Avatar

    Tracy-Turnblad said:

    Default

    Thanks! I've gone with 'I'll break these chains and leave this life behind'. Yeah, Miley did write the first line and the second line is similiar, but that's where i got the inspiration to write the song. I don't think i'll change the chorus, I've already got the music and the chorus fits well.