Fear of failure

I'm afraid of never finishing my album
I have more inspiration anyway
I have no desire to become a singer anymore,
I'm not fifteen anymore...
When I look at my videos I find that I'm ridiculous,
What I'm saying in my songs is only clichés,
it's not the truth, fame scares me

I'm afraid to grill my wings while I'm shining under the spotlight
I'm afraid to lose my integrity while I'm finishing the fight,
Basically, I give a **** of what people are saying about me
I'm lost between what they expect of me and what I'm really
Every day I'm an actor ... I pretend, I choke,
I makeup the fear with jokes
I'm wasting my time asking questions instead of acting
I'm wasting my time lying for everything, I'm playing,
I'm afraid of depression, I'm scared of the future and his disappointments
It's crazy how the life can be full of inconvenience,
The more I grow, the more time passes, the more I am disappointed,
Every time I try to find my way I'm repointed,
Under the influence of the anxieties of future injury
Under the fragrance of the presence of furry,
more I am looking for excuses, more I get bogged down
Don't even think I'm a soldier, I'm not in a dawn,
I get drunk with negativity, and I feel so alive,
often, I'm afraid of boredom, is this the real life ?
I'm scared to have no more reason to complain,
I'm tired of fighting to explain,
But I feel sad all the time, I feel empty,
People don't understand me,
I'm afraid to be normal, to be average, not too bad nor too good
I think I'm useless... I'm stuck in my life of dud,
I'm scared of my entourage because they know my weaknesses,
my Achilles' heels, they know how much my foundations are fragile
I think they will try to make me fall into the nil,
They trust me for now, but they don't even seen my madness,
When I'll disappointed them, they will be beside me,
Ready to strike first, friends or enemies ?
I'm scared that my parents hate me,
For all the shits I've done, they can blame me,
Since I was thirteen, I regress
I hurt them, I stress them, I forsake what they taught me to do that ****,
I don't really think that is the perfectness,
As if I was better than my father, as if I was better than my mother
They believe they love me
Me, I think they veil their faces
I think they like what they dream to see at my place
because they do not know what happens behind the mask
What happens behind the picture, because they do not know my real face
when I say I hate girls, I give myself credit
I have never really invested in, I runaway
I cheated on my feelings
stay true believer, I ducked out the fear of love, cause i don't wan't to be ****ed,
cowardice, I thought the more I clung least it worked
I betrayed, I messed I hated, I banished
What I earned from remorse and diseases?
Nothing except the fear of being alone all my life
I believe in God a little, but not really
I will go with the disbelievers, when I'll go feet first
I'm scared of being caught by the nothingness
I feel so good in the dark, I feel in my element.

As I wanted to jump into the void, to forget me
pass me the rope around my neck, to drown me
cuts right through the veins of the elbow to wrist
I have like an envy to shot a bullet in my skull
but I have no gun ...
Look in my eyes, you'll understand that I am only weak.

I'm afraid of losing,
I am afraid of failure,
I'm afraid of losing,
I'm afraid of the fight of the life,
I'm afraid of my mistakes,
I am afraid of failure,
fear of failure ...