Love is Blind

My first rap verse. All this is true. Rate it 1-10 and give me feedback.


Waiting for my bus, feeling so great
Talking to my friends, with no hate
You walk in the bus, you catch my eye
Im looking at you, and i get those butterflies
I already know, I wanna like you
We should talk, text, laugh until 2
You look so pretty, you look so great
Your the only reason, Im feelin so straight

I wanna talk, but ima shy guy
When I see you, I just pass by
I give you a look, but not even a Hi
Your beautiful brown eyes, Your nice brown hair
You look so good, Thats a cute type flair
Guys probaly chase you, just like a huge fleet
Whenever I see you, I just wanna kiss you on the cheek

So many emotions, I think im obsessed
I feel like love has just possessed
Look at me now, I should be on top of the world
But things can swirl, twist, and twirl
Theres one thing to keep in mind
S*** happens, and love is bind........

Nice verse, rap or not, maybe this could go any way you want it. Even out the verses, maybe tighten up a few lines and this could be really good. Nice sentiment too, very familiar to me

Thanks. I dont thinks its good. I think it could get better. Thanks for the feedback.

You have the words. There is no problem there. It just has to flow together more. That may involved cutting bits out or restructuring length. For your first time, you are doing very well. Keep practicing and discovering yourself.