review lyrics please

You ever loved somebody so much you'd do anything for them
Anything to protect them
Anything to be with them
And the whole world could see
Just how caring you could be
How you gave up every free..dom
Just to give her what she needs
But the next day you come home, to a broken home
An empty house, Save for one lonely note
Next to a used box of tissues, just outlining all the issues
That she has with the dynamic..
It's real funny ain't it
How you give a girl everything you have
But it's not half of what she expects to have
And everyone's listening thinking I can relate
In the words of the knowing, this is our fate
Yeah, this is our fate, a lesson of hate
Rise up above it now, we can be great
...
..
.

Not done obviously, what do you think?

This is a terribly sad song...terribly. You are telling so much of a story in this and I wish to read this rest. Have you decided to break this up into verses with a bridge or chorus, possibly?

Thank you, yeah that's what I'm planning to do. I'll post the rest as soon as I write it.

Anyone else?

I really like the end "and everyones listening thinking I can relate , in the words of knowing this is our fate" Strong line and very well told , if for any constructive criticism I'd say harden the rhymes , little less basic. Other then that A grade in my book.

I appreciate it, thanks very much

anyone?