Feedback on these lyrics...?

I'm 14 years old, and this is the second song I've (attempted) to write.
I'm not really sure what I think of it... so some feedback would be awesome. (:
Also, I still haven't written the chorus yet, so any ideas for that would be greatly appreciated.

It's called 'Perfection'. :P


I've been told
And I've learned it too be true
that the only way to happiness
is to be good enough for you

And I have a perfect secret
I've been keeping for a while
I hide my flaws and imperfections
underneath a perfect smile

In perfect slumbers, perfect sleep,
those imperfections slowly creep
through my body, thick as mud
and soon they're swirling in my blood

In every form that you can measure
I need to be the best
Smart, funny, lovely, kind,
my hips, my waist, my chest.

So I'll smile my perfect smile
perfect lips and perfect teeth
though I'm empty, cold and breakable,
I'll keep it hidden underneath

A lovely girl
A pretty girl
that's what I want to be
But truth be told, the biggest flaw
I've ever seen is me.




(And here's another verse that I can't think where it would fit in... I don't know if I should use it or not...)
It's shear perfection I've longed to taste
perfect frills and perfect lace
I plaster on my perfect smile
though I am breaking, all the while.

Love your name and welcome to the forum. Great post, I really mean that. I love the deliciously evil amount of insight you put into these lyrics, and they're incredible for your second attempted song. Looking forward to seeing more of you

Thank you so much! (:

Kehehe these are just amazing and beautiful lyrics!!
Welcome to the forum!!! x)

-S.L.S-

Lovely! Bravo, haha I'm also working on a chorus as I type

-kthxbai