Our life

I always wanted to say this to you,
But apparently your not here
Oh frikin dear, I want to disappear because of the fear uh-
oops I slipped out the word "I LOVE YOU"

your love is like falling rain,
N shoot your love through my veins.
As fast as trains,
I'm insane.
Obsessed with you like no other,

There's no other like you,
Because you understand Me n now I finally see, how much you really care for Meh.
It was a day like no other,
A birthday party of course.
Sippin drank down my throat, playin paddy cake with the source.
Read your text, I blush n next I read it over n over again.
"will you go out with me? I know it sounds weird."
didn't have to say it twice I was on you like a head with lice.

But I didn't know how much you loved Me back then.
No I didn't know.


It's been weeks in our relationship, it's going by well.
Sexted thousands of times,
Though why was my life still hell?
What I didn't know is that I didn't love you the way you loved Me.
I look in the mirror, see ugly, see a fail..

Take a decent pic n send n your roller coaster flipped off it's rail.
You say I'm beautiful, incredible, amazing, n outstanding.
Gorgeous and nothing like anyone else he's seen.
I swallowed the hate for myself,
Felt confident n felt free, no stealth.

If only you could come back.

You always believed in Me, even when we had no faith.
Hiding each other from parents n from others.
I was beginning to like you.

You were always better then Me,
At games and drawing.
Though its been 2months and I didn't care I just wanted to stare at the pics of you.
All day long from the moment I woke up until I fell asleep I'd text you.
But what to do,
When theres nothing new?
You always made Me smile, you find ways everyday to make Me laugh or giggle...
You loved my giggle..

I told you my whole life story, my cousin, my brother, my mom, n myself.
I told you everything about Me, so you knew when to laugh or get mad.
You knew about the effed up life I had.
Some of it even made YOU get sad.
You knew about razor n how I acted at that state.
You knew when I was mad I always waited till late, at night I'd grab the scissors n aim it at my wrists. My body goes insane as the blood circulates my fists.
I even showed you cuts I cussed you out and said I hated you.
N the fight lasted as late as 2, and ended at 7 what were you gonna do?!

Every time I called you a name you did your best to calm Me down, Apologizing to my face you even showed a frown.
No but razor didn't buy it,
A that state it's just to harsh,
You couldnt stand razor you missed Olivia or Shadow,
You missed a smile, you missed something!
Brandon what the hell were you missing?!

No it wasnt you that was missing something, I'm sorry. I was ME. I was missing my heart, back then It never beeped.
because my body shut down after the raging strom of depression.
Brandon I still have a confesssion...

-------------
[not finished yet. Just ideas I need to polish it.]

Has muchos potentials. Ready to read it when it is "polished!"