New metal song plz comment im newer. Made it better. Let me know

Let me know how it is. I think it ok. It has a strong meaning.
Lyrics

Ughhhhhhh!

Darkness is all you are
I can see it in you
I don't want to be anything like you
I'm nothing like you

I'll be what you never where*
What you never see
The disease you ****in became,
The disease that you are,
Has ended everything!,*

Hate what you are*
Hate everything about*
You!!

Something I ****ing hate!
Something I despise!
Is in you,
Is you*
Is you

Ughhhh*
Yaaaaa

You where everything anyone ever wanted
Now look what you where*
And look what you are
You are the disease*
That has changed everything
Everything
You can not change
You lost the will
Lost everything


Hate what you are
Hate everything about*
You!

Something I ****ing hate*
Something I despise
Is in you,
Is you*
Is you
*
Something I ****ing hate
Something I despise*
Is in you
Is you
Is you

You where everything*
Everything
Everything*

Now your nothing

This is good, but it needs some work.
There is some repetitiveness in the way you attack the subject matter, you obviously dislike this person, tell why. "You ****ed everything up" isn't quite good enough, I feel there is room for expansion, and editing some of the points. Condense your point into a single word, not necessarily an abstraction. You need to use some techniques, such as symbolism, metaphor, simile and imagery to make your writing evocative. You cannot write something so simple as "I hate you" or simply state events and feelings as they are and expect them to have any resonance with the reader. You have to explain it to the reader with words that put them in the right perspective.
Anyways good song, try revising it a little bit, and keep writing, because like everything else, the more you do it, the better you get. This seems kind of like a slipknot song, do you listen to them at all?