Written in the Stars rap remake - Jfam. Comments?

Ok, so I'm back again with a cover of Tinie Tempah's written in the stars (I've only redone the rap part). This rap was done to the Written in the Stars instrumental with hook which can be found on YouTube. I did add a bit to the instrumental to give myself a second verse so just replay the first verse to rap along to my second. This hasn't really got much in terms of rhymes but I tried to replace it with a rhythmic, fast(ish) flow. I've also used some alliteration as well for once but that's it.

Written in the Stars

(Verse 1)
Yeah, Are you coping with change?
Have you ever lived your life in the most difficult way?
Have you ever just wished it could give you a break?
Working hard to get it right but then taken away?
Wishing you had done better in bigger exams
Treating life like a game but then losing a plan
Where to turn? Money's dry got no petrol to burn
Living with a burden and living to learn
What can you do? What can we do?
Haven't got a plan B? guess you're stuck in it too
I'll never know whether my dream'll ever come true:
Cos we're losing our cash by the day with the debts coming through
Can't live life to the full if you ain't got a chance
Guess we're never gonna live again if we can't ever last
They say you shouldn't live only to dwell on the past
So we live with the dream that one day we'll be top of the class

(Verse 2)
Yeah, do you have your own dream?
Are you working hard but jobs are too far in-between?
Trying hard at what you do no matter how hard it seems?
Frustrating as it is you wanna let out a scream?
Working for tomorrow means you work harder today
Never get a rest; you got a mortgage to pay
Can't get by: Can't get the books to work whatever you try
Gonna leave you thinking hard about whether to buy
Food and drink and clothes and just the water to live
Not gonna spend the money on any presents to give
Christmas ain't gonna come again at all for the kids
Never get a Santa Claus come in to give them the gifts
So can you live to the full if you ain't got a chance?
Guess we're never gonna live again if we can't ever last
They say you shouldn't live only to dwell on the past
So we live in the hope that one day we'll be top of the class

It's great, impeccable flow.

It's top of the class !

Ahahahaha! I do try

U know I don't just talk shxt. It's top of the class ! And u know it.

Lol, you really think it's that good?