No chorus just punchlines and verses

Thread: No chorus just punchlines and verses

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  1. JStokes23 said:

    Default No chorus just punchlines and verses

    The focus is on jokes and punchlines:

    .4 left and I'm like Derek Fisher, it's never over man
    So high now I philosophize, the weed let's me overstand
    Cause there's no time to be under like the plummer
    But I can still go under and get things wet and hot like a rainy day in the summer
    The boy, check that, man wonder
    I mean, don't you wonder about me?
    Talking so much **** it's like my mouth could use TP
    Can you feel me, Better yet can you see me
    Or are you blind to the facts, no Stevie
    Not Ray like everyone loves me, Ramano
    Smoking that Hunter S. Thompson, Writing so Gonzo
    So Alonzo
    Like I could kill it and have them Mourning
    Coming Together, So Lennon, I don't know how this is forming
    Don't make it rain yet but my penmanship is thunderous so it is almost storming
    Hazardous Content, Not for children, Yea I am better than you'd think, But I do not come with a Warning

    Don't really murder lyrics, I'm more of a lyrical hoarder
    Don't repeat this **** like a bathroom tape recorder
    But It's like I've got some sort of mental disorder
    Too hot to be chili so I go to on the boarder
    Explosive with the lines mouth like a ****in ' mortar

    Picked up the pen one day, no drill, said screw it
    Now do I take it seriously or is jokingly how I do it
    While smoking on my green she turned red before she "blue" it
    Don't glue it
    They'll all just try and stick to me
    It's really just that simple like A.B.C.
    But she's got D's
    And tonight we could be rolling E
    Skip through the alphabet in time to catch some Z's
    But still don't forget about the O and the G
    Pat Riley with the pen oh how they just love to hate my Heat
    Telling girl's to catch my Big 3
    Like skeet skeet skeet
  2. Jfam said:

    Default

    I think you got some good stuff in there. I think at points you have some nice bars. At points I thought the flow could be improved but as I said, there are some nice bars in there
  3. JStokes23 said:

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    thanks man thanks anything that stands out?
    Good or bad?