Your heaven is my hell(rate plz)

Verse
Im walkin out/no regrets/dont want my life to be a mess/the longer i stay/ the harder it gets/do wanna put up with your bullsh*t/ why cant you just leave me be/

Chorus
Your heaven is my hell/from the look in your eyes i can tell/ imnot the person you want me to be/ when i go left/ you go right/all we ever do is fight/i guess somethings are just not meant to be/ your heaven isnt the right place for me/

Verse
You may not be proud of me/ but i am/ ive been down is dumps/ but here i stand/your approval dont mean a damn thing to me/you thought you were building me up/butyou only tore me down/you tried to make me fear the person ive become now/

Chorus(repeat but draw out)

I have the music all written out for guitar and piano. Its a soft rock ballad in a sense. Tell me wat you think!

This is good stuff - I especially like the chorus!! It seems short, but I suppose it doesn't seem it with the music

Thanxs =) yeah the music draws it out a bit there is a guitar solo between the 2nd verse nd the chorus

Hi I know I am still in High school but yes it does seem a bit short maybe if you add some more verses it might make it a bit well... longer

Hey man im still in high school! I get wat your saying cause the average song that is being played is 16 bars. But check out john mayers dreaming with a broken heart lyrics its not the usually 16 bars. I didnt want it to sound force and all the bridges and verse i wrote sounded forced.

<a href='http://www.myfreecopyright.com/registered_mcn/CBS31-7LQE9-B6GUC' title='MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected' ><img src='http://storage.myfreecopyright.com/mfc_protected.png' alt='MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected' title='MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected' width='145px' height='38px' border='0'/></a>