The Manic's Theme (Reposted)

Seems I deleted this by mistake?? this is the original draft that doesn't include all of the changes I made to the last verse, as well as a better ending verse that I added later. And I can't get it back, not yet anyway. Dammit :-| ...

The Manic's Theme

You say you've said it all,
But -- you always failed to listen
You ignored each desperate call,
Of the heart that you imprisoned.

A thousand words would tell it,
But of course it won't get thru -
You'd rub more salt on the wound
And he's just getting tired of you.

But not you dear, it's that devil
That caught you in his snare,
When the love you'd sworn forever
Rode to hell on an empty stare.

~

The manic-depressive's desk is
Carved with hearts turned into wood
Piles of dust attest that his
Delirium's come for good

Another someone special
Haunts his every waking hour
Like rust that eats up metal
All his senses they devour

He desperately needs to sleep
And seize escape, but he knows he can't
His brain is on a mindless spin
A frigid-burning rant

DJ pulsing headphones
With the volume cranked to ten
Push his brain toward convulsion
So he can't think her name again

He checks in with the Fates
To see if Scorpio has a plan
But he can't think what today is
So his brain ignites again...

He should be going postal
But he's too tired to take the call
He'll just fan the ice-inferno
Till the last of the ashes fall.

Burning rage keeps him sane
Till he can break the curs-ed trance
That binds him in the chains
Of love that didn't have a chance.

No comments? ... I was really fond of how the verses in italics developed :-/ ...

Moon, you keep flooding us with your verses - it's really difficult to embrace all this!!!
Easy, easy, easy - give us time to discover them, embrace them, ponder on them and let you know what we feel!!!

Originally Posted by MoonRide42

He checks in with the Fates
To see if Scorpio has a plan
But he can't think what today is
So his brain ignites again...

This one, for obvious reasons, is my favourite!!! WOW!!!

Originally Posted by MoonRide42

[I]
Burning rage keeps him sane
Till he can break the curs-ed trance
That binds him in the chains
Of love that didn't have a chance.[I]

Oh man, ooooooooh man!

Thank you for this poem Moon.

I'm hit and sunk.

Hit and sunk .. marvelous analogy Paul. I also hoped that with this I could express and develop an ongoing (relentless) sense of ... overwhelming, on-the-edge, paranoic fear of losing it completely, not being able to escape an hour-to-hour or sometimes minute-to-minute sense of panic. I don't know if it worked, but the effort behind it was certainly an adventure

Yeah Scorpio ... I originally used Aries, just for brevity, but then I realized that Scorpio was a better choice. For some odd reason, not even sure why it came to me that way.

Originally Posted by Paul Orhan

Moon, you keep flooding us with your verses - it's really difficult to embrace all this!!!.....

Just wanta say in defense I haven't posted so much lately, but a few of my older ones got hauled up from the dust so it just looks like I've been busy

Hi MoonRide*r*, this is the first time I read your poem, and I must say It´s awesome, as spanish is my first language, I must read it again to be able to comment properly, but it seems excellent to me.

Hi, Moon! This proves you are a poet . . . Not sure I knew that!! Thank you for sharing it (I see it's older, but to me it's new!)

Since the subject is bi-polar . . . I guess it's not surprising that the first three verses seem so very different from the remainder of the poem (in italics). However, it is the part in italics which I can "follow" even better than the first three verses!

The first three verses seem to be "talking" about someone else; the remainder of the verses seem to be speaking of "self." Am I perceiving this correctly? Or have I missed something.

I find the italics verses totally relateable. The first three verses make sense in themselves . . . I just have some difficulty reconciling the first part with the remainder. Can you help me?? Or is that a poetic device for bi-polar?

Each part is well done; the two do not seem to go together. I hope you do not mind this honesty with you. When someone makes sense--which you do--I am bothered when I miss the point of something or if I can't "get it". It leaves me feeling unsettled. So, if it is a poetic device, it works!!! Only if you choose to share, please do. If not, I accept that readily!

Hi MoonRide*r* and F. J., that´s why I haven´t commented this poem already, but for the moment I have to say that many of the lines are so fine worked, if you ask me what I´m talking about I would put all the poem again, so, as an example, just imagine: Rode to hell on an empty stare.
This poem, is the perfect way to describe this disease, in an artistic way, this is what I understood, but hope Moon, give us some hints to discover his real meanings:


the first three paragraphs, as F. J., said, show the depression state, then in fourth show the mania, imagine the man carving all his desk all day long.

These two lines are a perfect figure to me:

Like rust that eats up metal
All his senses they devour

We notice how the man try to scape, listen music or reading fates, but he fails, "his brain ignites again".

In the penultimate paragraph, his fate is sealed, as a karma, he will be fanning the fire untill the end of his life, "till the last of the ashes fall"

In the last verse we see that there´s no scape, because when he is angry he feel strong to resist, or maybe keep his mind busy (distracted),
but if calm comes to his mind, he will be caught again, for the images that turn him crazy, (and that will turn the hell on).

He is trapped in a vicius circle, and there´s no scape.

Hope I got some points of this master piece, congratulations for the excellent work, and we expect that you share your thoughts wit us. Thank you

Mexico62:are you sure English isn't your native tongue?penultimate?Where you learn that?I'd have to look it up!!!!Wow,you're coming along(Englishwise !!!!)

I think Moon has failed to notice the new comments from you guys but i'll make sure he catches up

@Moon..........baby this just blew me away....i don't think the intro gives even a small clue about how great it gets toward the end....."hearts turned into wood" is just the beginning of that....the imagery is just awesome, so much power <33

Now i'm thinking that i should go thru this entire section and search for your name on every page

just got the wake-up call
Thanks guys!

mexico62, yep, you pegged it. Fortunately reality is a little more pleasant. Actually a lot more

Frankie, yeah you got it too. I hadn't even thought of bipolar, but that sums it up.

Tess .... "entire section"? .. Slow your role there babe before you end up embarrassing me more than you already have <33

Originally Posted by MoonRide*r*

Slow your role

lol too late sweetie i already found about 20 more

Originally Posted by MoonRide*r*

just got the wake-up call
Thanks guys!

Frankie, yeah you got it too. I hadn't even thought of bipolar, but that sums it up.

Not much of a stretch, Moon . . . sort of a give-away here:

The manic-depressive's desk is
Carved with hearts turned into wood
Piles of dust attest that his
Delirium's come for good

but sometimes he's just plain crazy <33

Crazy . . . like a fox! (Guess you've got that one in your repertoire too!!)

I just had to go back and find this again in part bcs of my own present mood but also bcs it is just such a masterful epic that i dont want it to get lost in obscurity (i know that this is a shameless act)....I feel that this is 1 of the 2 or 3 best, of everything that is contained within these pages, not wanting to minimize so many other great poems and songs that some greatwriters have gifted us with but i call this poem "epic" bcs it is a story (as i know now) of the deepest tragedy of love....

first he is speaking to her as they did many times but to no avail, except to end in argument once again and each one worse than the last.....until the writer finally falls off of the edge of emotional normality into a deep, dark and dizzying spin of no-longer-restrained anger...and the soul-twisting paradox of love-hate....and thus now driven only by the pain of ultimate failure....and a realization that he is imprisoned by love so strong that it will never release him and he cannot escape it bcs he is reminded of it at every turn, but also that he does not want to let go of it, tho he hates its power......he loves and hates the enormity of its power over him....and so it relentlessly pushes him to the. most extreme heights and depths of emotion, and it also drives him to find a solution...one that just does not exist...and so his pursuit changes to wanting to find an escape of any kind, but the chains are so large and so strong, and so heavy, that there is no escape at all....and so it ends on an unspoken hope that time will allow him to inevitably slip free of the chains, and to heal the madness and his other wounds.

it is also notable to me that he says near the beginning, "not you dear"....which says to me that part of the reason for his madness is not being able to reconcile the target of his anger......bcs he loves her so much that he does not want to be angry with her or to directly blame her for the failures of their relationship. but ofc that makes it all the worse for him.

You said Dammit

The Manic's Theme made clear in the opening verses that a love-hate/attachment-resentment existed, and why. That's the only way I could make the shift to the italics, when the incendiary emotions burst forth, even against the writer's will. The embattled lover was still aching to hang on to a shred of something; but it did not exist. (I must ask--Is this last line accurate?)

I have to agree, on reading this again, that this poem is painfully beautiful; easy for me to identify with. With Tess's explanation, it is easier to see the "shift." The first three stanzas explain the pain of trying and trying and trying. Then, following in italics, is the tumult of emotions, nearly impossible to separate and sift through to make any sense of; because (as Tess explained) the emotions are so at odds with each other. And this to the near-point of insanity, possibly brought on by the one 'who never listened.'

One thing I understood from the very first reading, though, was that there was love remaining in the poet, with shreds of compassion leftover--but no longer enough to make up for all which came "before."

You are right, Tess. This poem is great.

Moon or Tess, you may correct me if I made assertions which are not accurate to the meaning of the poem. It is such a specific poem, that I do not want to speak incorrectly on behalf of the poet.

WoW! Views 1,618, now 1,619! Great, Moonrider! This deserves it.