Love Lost War (or something…doesn't really have a title…)

Thread: Love Lost War (or something…doesn't really have a title…)

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  1. RobberBaron said:

    Default Love Lost War (or something…doesn't really have a title…)

    Agony,
    Twisting in pain,
    I can't go to sleep,
    I lie to myself that it'll get better,
    But how many more endless nights must I endure,
    Before I see the light?

    Lonely,
    Lonely as the wind that falls,
    Lonely like a bird,
    That's lost it's way back home,
    With nobody to care for me,
    Without love I lose this haunting game

    Angry,
    Can't you see it in my eyes?
    The desperate cry for help,
    I'll tear down this house in despair,
    And I'll watch as the angels fall,
    Whilst I'm the only one left standing

    Voices,
    Burning in my head,
    Making a mark on my skin,
    The terrible things that once were and those that must not be,
    They follow me to the end of the world,
    I am plagued by my mind

    War,
    War with God,
    War with my parents,
    War with my friends and with my enemies,
    But the hardest battle to fight,
    War with myself

    Know this,
    Every word I speak is true,
    No lies can shroud my broken lips,
    I will fall back into the endless night,
    Captured by shadows from the night before,
    Until I end this love lost war
     
  2. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    Super-great RB.
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  3. RobberBaron said:

    Default

    Cool, thanks Any suggestions? I haven't done poetry in a while and I didn't want to bound myself to rhymes or much of a structure, does that make it messy?
     
  4. mexico62 said:

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    Hi RobberBaron, Excuse me for the delay, but I´m almost new here and I go reading here and there, I think you made a wonderful job, personally I like the old school, rhymes, metrics and rhythm, but I can appreciate a good intellectual composition, you expose so right your emotions and ideas, so there is nothing to change, sometimes I start a poem and it goes it´s own way, so at the end I wrote a short story, I made a poem where I say poems are like our children, they born from us, but grow as they please, hope is for good.
    Only one advice, keep reading and writing, remember that practice make the master. Thanks for sharing and I will look for your posts.
     
  5. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Mexico62,my good friend,ask Mr.Baron to send you a link to his songs.I guarantee you'll like them!I did,and I'm hard to please.I advise anybody reading this to do the same.His songs are more than just Good Lyrics,they're great arrangements,great instrumentals etc.Everything that makes good music good.Check him out!Song title suggestion,I've got the( Lonely Angry Agony Blues)
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 07-25-2012 at 12:09 AM. Reason: Title suggestion
     
  6. RobberBaron said:

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    Wow thank you everyone! I can send links if you like
    Thanks so much for the positive feedback, it really means a lot, and thank you once again Doug By the way Doug, I have loads more songs written and some recorded, I'm just waiting on upping the standard a bit or recording them
     
  7. mexico62 said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RobberBaron View Post
    Wow thank you everyone! I can send links if you like
    Thanks so much for the positive feedback, it really means a lot, and thank you once again Doug By the way Doug, I have loads more songs written and some recorded, I'm just waiting on upping the standard a bit or recording them
    Hi R.B., of course we hope you are willing to send us the links to hear your songs, and thanks to our friend Doug for the sugestion, we will be waiting, thanks in advance. saludos desde México.