review and let me have it you cruelly honest audience

all things posted are copy written

I feel a love for you tonight
So many years behind
You are filling my thoughts
Overtaking my very mind

We had a time
I could have made you mine
It was a dream
It was my dream

You offered me all of you
I did not agree
I had been so foolhardy
When you offered yourself to me

I was such a damn fool
I could have made love to you
And you may have loved me too
So stupid, I could not see

My life became a strange reality
I wish I had believed
You could have really wanted me
It was such a dream

I have seen much in Lindsey
It makes me remember
Just what you could have been to me
You were such my dream
You were such a dream to me

Your beauty in my eyes
Freckles, blond hair
Blue eyes
So much love I could not disguise
You we’re such a dream
No, you we’re the reality
of what I needed it to be

You we’re my dream
What couldn’t I see
You we’re the one to
fulfill my dream

This was about a girl I knew many years ago who had offered herself to me but I passed it by because I was married, a failed marriage at that. So I often think of what if I had taken her up on it. I have recently made contact after 30+ years. She is divorced and remarried and asked me not to contact any more. The reference to Lindsey is that of her daughter

This reads almost like you are writing a letter or an entry in a diary, which is kinda cool I think. It shows you have some tallent.

Me being the cruelly honest person I am: I like it! And, I think you should write more.

Good Luck

I have been writing since I was 5 yrs old. I find words interesting, the problem is the format I use is pretty much always the same, though I have changed it up on occasion. But I have reviewed many "hots" only to find the reason why I use a certain formatting, it is what they have used!. And it seems to sell. Thanks for the input, now if you could be so kind to criticize to the point that I make something that I can sell and make a buck on. OOOOPS am I expressing a money motivator than an artistic motive...possibly yes

if there is a possibility of collaboration I am game

I would love to do a collaboration with someone on this forum. It would be cool to have someone who writes different than I to write something together.

Please give me a link to your writings. If you are different than my style then i would defiantely be interested and then we need music! Most of mine are 4 stanza then chorus. I am na old guy and pattern my music style after the such as the Beatles. Their lyricsw, music patterns are so diverse for one band that I find much within their writing to draw off of. The "Day in the Life" was a colaboration of John Lennon and Paul McCartnety on 2 seperate songs blended into one. This is certianly a formula for success if done correctly!

Bw

One thing I do k now Inskeeper is that I am almost 60 and have had many experiences as well as exposure to different types pf music i would like rto collaborate

Thank U for your kindness
I think you shouold have been more critical....but I like that you were not! I have voumes that I have written over the years (many of them) but i have lost many so i need to find the written logs of such. The computer records are gone! CRAP!!! I am sure I have most wrtitten though i know I had only in digital content...ohhh welll