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Thread: Your heart is empty my darling‏/‏by‏ عبد الحليم حافظ

  1. #1
    Senior Member dark1979's Avatar
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    Default Your heart is empty my darling‏/‏by‏ عبد الحليم حافظ

    Your heart is empty my darling
    If you had as much love in your
    heart as I do, my darling
    If your days were being scorched
    by the fire of passion
    If your nights were sleepless like
    mine
    If you really were in love
    We would embrace our love and
    go far away from the eyes of the
    others
    Far away from all the eyes
    If you had as much love in your
    heart as I do
    We would walk for a thousand
    nights
    A thousand nights
    A thousand and one nights
    Day and night
    Until we reach a star that has no
    neighbor
    Or take shelter in a pearl in the
    distant seas
    My darling
    The moon carried us off high
    above the land, the sea and the
    sky
    And the night and all existence
    Above the prying eyes
    Above the mountains of fear and
    beyond all borders
    The moon carried us off
    The moon carried us off to an
    island beyond the limits of the
    imagination
    Unseen by any eye and
    unimagined by any mind
    My darling
    We've risen high above safe
    ground
    Open the gates of your heart to
    your youth and your beloved
    Keep fear away from your pretty
    little eyes (literally, 'from your
    eyelashes')
    Don't let anything in this universe
    make you feel embarrassed
    Sing, dance, run, run, run, laugh
    Say I love you and forget the
    world come what may
    Except my eyes
    The eyes of your beloved
    Don't let any other eyes see you
    Oh my darling
    See how far my hopes have
    taken me?
    See how much I dream?
    Would you be satisfied for us to
    love like this
    Even though we live so far apart?
    I want to feel love filling every
    shred of your existence
    I want to feel like I'm your smile,
    your tears,
    The joy of your youth and the
    color of your cheeks
    I want to feel like I'm your love
    And that my spark ignites your
    fire
    My darling, we've gone back up
    high above safe ground
    Open the gates of your heart to
    your youth and your beloved
    Keep fear away from your pretty
    little eyes
    Don't let anything in this universe
    make you feel embarrassed
    Sing, dance, run, run, run, laugh
    Say I love you and forget the
    world come what may
    Except my eyes
    The eyes of your beloved
    Don't let any other eyes see you
    Oh my darling

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Hi Dark1979, this is the second poem I read from you, and I must say that I notice as if you are improving your english, because I see that you write more fluently, and you did a longer poem with good phrases and showing all your feelings for your beloved. I must say that love is what moves the world, so this is good idea to talk about love, hope you continue writing, learning, and loving.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
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    @dark1979: This is a real love poem. Your poem to me is emphatic and clear, without being trite. Sometimes love poems are "mushy," which is hard to define. Mushy is like dripping with too much sweetness or cuteness, too over the top with endearments. However, in your poem, you literally take the poetry "over the top" (I am referring to the heavenly skies!) as a poetic way to unite two lovers. You poem is not "mushy" at all! It is full of love expressions, quite beautiful. Very well spoken and romantic. Also, "mushy" is when a writer/poet expresses too many things about affection, how the person looks, or to many things like that. Your poem has appropriate affection without mushiness, without being "overdone." I wish I could express it better. Hopefully, you understand what I mean . . .

    Most of all, I am amazed when someone can write good poetry in a language not their own. I know how very difficult this must be. Even the second language I know, I have difficulty writing with correct grammar and clear meaning. In no way could I write a poem in the second language.

    Very well done. I take it that you first wrote the poem in your language, then translated it very well into English. Congratulations.

  4. #4
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    Marhaban Dark1979, I do agree with F. J., Your poem is romantic but is not so sweet, and I know very well how difficult is to make a poem and then try to translate to a second language, but I think that as I do, your intention is to share your feelings and emotions with us, that is so friendly and kind from you, so shukran iktir for your effort, ma assalama.

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