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4 bars a post, keep it going

One two punch, fire like a doublepump
But really i got no guns cause i was never troublesome
I'll roll up another one of that sticky icky, bubblegum
Ya'll rappin 100% however i'm a hundred-one

But ur bars seem counterfeit like u mimicked o'er the counter ****.
Me i start with "flair" like "rick", admit- it I got louder hits.
I could fart "mounter" scripts and get-it from ur chowder *****
Mark her chowder ***** cuz her clit gets stretched like power dips

Power dips? Mounter scripts? I'll drop you like a ton of bricks
I do it cause i does it and that means just for the fun of it
If ya'll keep talkin **** then ya better see ya dentist
She's screamin ohhh like my people do at the end of every sentence

Your "****" flip could / flip **** and thick scripts if used rite,
But quick whit beats dipshits and rips it on new mics.
Kid- wished he missed- it when my " sick-hit" n' gripped- tight
His weak mite couldn't even fight, he's tung tied n hits- light

Originally Posted by Steeze

Power dips? Mounter scripts? I'll drop you like a ton of bricks
I do it cause i does it and that means just for the fun of it
If ya'll keep talkin **** then ya better see ya dentist
She's screamin ohhh like my people do at the end of every sentence

Your "****" flip could / flip **** and thick scripts if used rite,
But quick whit beats dipshits and rips it on new mics.
Kid- wished he missed- it when my " sick-hit" n' gripped- tight
His weak mite couldn't even fight, he's tung tied n hits- light

I don't carry a gun but I'll carry an ax
Never afraid to drop it in yalls backs
Keep it pg13 cause y'all to young
talk **** an I'll cut out ya f*ckin tongue

Joker...not bad man... try stacking your rhymes..focus on mixing your words to rhyme and make more sense of them..and if you havn't been told this yet, Welcome to A.T.L.

Make way, Sk'ns spitting words, now it's his turn to kick it.
Split your mouth quick Joker leaving em spitting out Chicklets.
Your on the verge Curb Kick it in 5th rip this F.ag with the quickness.
No concerns shift em to a Hurst with a verse, *uck your last wishes...

Simple kid, i grew up in surburbs
Where life is fortunate and we blow it till our lungs hurt
We know who we are we dont listen to the others
Chillin, actin shady, no time to get sunburned

SkinDeep: sick? please.. I'm strychnine to your worthless image.
No cutting corners like a roundhouse if I "turn to kick it"

Steez: you'll leave "sunburned", blazed to ash;
My steez'd leave son burnt like Abraham.

Originally Posted by smoothtung

Your "****" flip could / flip **** and thick scripts if used rite,
But quick whit beats dipshits and rips it on new mics.
Kid- wished he missed- it when my " sick-hit" n' gripped- tight
His weak mite couldn't even fight, he's tung tied n hits- light

man.. great flow with all those stacked poly-syllabic rhymes and internals.
those skills'd be dope on tracks with some imagery and more content.

Mirror the way you live and throw some of mickey's d's on it.
Fear for today I give a show that has never sneezed on ****.
Hear more than what I say, I flow a clever diseased sonnet.
Steer, explore the word play, know the weather that breezed Hamlet.

Mirror the way you live and throw some mickey d's on it. (Reverse the spelling of live, it spells evil. Throw some Mickey D's (Lil mickey was a movie about a devil, and Mickey D is also a nick name for Mc Donalds, and D's are also street slang for rims and such) And it now spells Devil.
Never sneezed on ****(Never sneezed, never been blessed, its satanic/psychotic)
Hear more than what I say (Interpret more than being typed, the metaphors and such) I flow a clever diseased sonnet(I write a clever evil verse)
(Hamlet, famous literature, and the ghost breezed him)

Originally Posted by _SBU

man.. great flow with all those stacked poly-syllabic rhymes and internals.
those skills'd be dope on tracks with some imagery and more content.

Thnks sbu yea I'm actually writing **** right now with the same style. It'll be on here soon

Help me obi wan, teach me to spit.
I'm sick and tired of forcing the ****.
I wont have to keep using my hand on my lightsaber
If you'll just teach me some flavor.




For the record in no way am I happy with that but I'm more then happy to learn from all y'all. I'm in no way a rapper. Just an amateur director/producer that freestyles for fun.

Number 1 tip, on here scripts are sometimes explicit an even hostile, but its all in good fun homie. Don't take anything personal, its what happens when battling. Second, in my scripts I often try to help or in better terms offer advice to the person I'm spittin against. Sometimes its apparent because I will be specific, other times its just constructive critisism.
But with that said i got somethin for ya...you got potential an raw skill. Like skn Said "practice practice practice". Check out other talented emcees and learn of different styles, you need to know of different types to effectively create one of your own. And try using different creative angles like puns an cliches an such. If you can sprinkle those in and maintain flow and focus on your subject they will strenghten your scripts ten fold. Hope this helps. Keep at it dawg

Yeah man. As far as something being offensive to me I say by all means. Have at it. I take and give everything as 90% joke. Serious is probably the hardest thing for me to do. I love to joke so I'm a joker. Thank you for the compliments and advice. I will continue to study everything I can. Again thanks for the advice. If I drop something that's pure sh*t feel free to let me know.

Joker..If you need help on anything I'm always up for helping out a follow emcee. I have always built my foundation off of respect. Even though I say some mean Shi* some times, that’s just the Beauty of battling. Wither you know this or not. when you signed up here, you became part of a brother hood. A family away from home. The way I see it is Kind of like this...You can talk about your best friends momma to his face and he will only laugh about it and get you back. It's Unconditional. I consider anyone willing to give this a shot, A friend. and I keep my enemies close as well. like Smooth said, you have raw talent just waiting to be unleash it's self and when that happens...you will know. The feeling you get from it says it all. On a further note since we are on the subject, there is one that will set me off. Racism. I hate that Shi* I believe all of us are as equals.... and that kind of talk should be left out of battles....I'm sending you a friend request. Please accept...

Originally Posted by _SBU

SkinDeep: sick? please.. I'm strychnine to your worthless image.
No cutting corners like a roundhouse if I "turn to kick it"

Steez: you'll leave "sunburned", blazed to ash;
My steez'd leave son burnt like Abraham.

Stillborn's a defective fetus, Buried 6 feet beneath us
Unicorns are mythical creatures, SBU keeps as trinkets..
Put them together and they equal death before life.
An Oxymoron, who thinks he's Jesus Christ up in a cyph.

Originally Posted by jokersall

For the record in no way am I happy with that but I'm more then happy to learn from all y'all. I'm in no way a rapper. Just an amateur director/producer that freestyles for fun.

poly-syllabic rhymes are quite important, in my opinion.
you could rhyme with longer syllable 'chaining'.
for example:
"spit" / "sh*t" = single.
"sabre" / "flavor" = 2 syllable chain.
"lightsabre" / "my flavour" = 3 syllable chain.

each of those examples carry through just 2 repetitions. you could 'stack' more repetitions of the rhyme chains though.
for example:
"sabre" / "flavour" / "danger" / "crater" = 4 repetitions.
you could use one of those at the the end of each line (to carry over 4 lines) or use them in fewer lines as 'internals' (carrying over 2 lines)

beyond that, you can juggle more than one syllable chain at a time (usually as internals), or try fracturing off parts of chains to stack as internals. but there it gets more complex.

In my opinion a great way to start off or just to practise is with flips.. where you quote or refer to something your opponent said, but flip it back on them or advance it somehow. the relevance of a good flip can be very effective.
scan through an opponent's drop until you think of some basic concept with which to respond to something they've said.
then think of how to express it afterwards, in good rhyme form.
if you're going to flip with a quote it can be most effective when the quote is included as part of your rhyme scheme.

eh.. sorry if any of that's too obvious or not clear enough.

Sbu that was pretty cool breaking it down for the Newbies Like that. this should help them a great deal. .Props..

Originally Posted by SK'nDeep

Stillborn's a defective fetus, Buried 6 feet beneath us
Unicorns are mythical creatures, SBU keeps as trinkets..
Put them together and they equal death before life.
An Oxymoron, who thinks he's Jesus Christ up in a cyph.

yeah "death before life", the 'metaphor's mine.
I bet that your wife's.. left to wonder what you even 'met-her-for', right?
I've better foresight. you've lesser formed lines.
and you've very little backbone, like a leprechaun's spine.