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I dont really see where your going with this
I could eat alhpabet soup and *hit out better lyrics
I've noticed reading this that all your raps are sinical
Best not bring that forawrd to Saybers lyrical

Question... should I stop with the metaphors? I mean to me wordplays is the way to know whos a true lyricist, and they come pretty easy to me. But sometimes I feel like I extend them too much. Like that last one, I just get extending the metaphor of evil in general

Originally Posted by Zachre

Mirror the way you live and throw some of mickey's d's on it.
Fear for today I give a show that has never sneezed on ****.
Hear more than what I say, I flow a clever diseased sonnet.
Steer, explore the word play, know the weather that breezed Hamlet.

Mirror the way you live and throw some mickey d's on it. (Reverse the spelling of live, it spells evil. Throw some Mickey D's (Lil mickey was a movie about a devil, and Mickey D is also a nick name for Mc Donalds, and D's are also street slang for rims and such) And it now spells Devil.
Never sneezed on ****(Never sneezed, never been blessed, its satanic/psychotic)
Hear more than what I say (Interpret more than being typed, the metaphors and such) I flow a clever diseased sonnet(I write a clever evil verse)
(Hamlet, famous literature, and the ghost breezed him)

the "way I live".. Now's Raw.
"mirror" it, I've.. 'woN waR's
so, said you "flow clever"?.. I protest the statement.
I smack 'Demon's backward an 'no meD's 'll save 'em.

try to flip this, you'd be flipped by the rebound..
"mirror" my "Flow" though; I'm 'wolF' amoungst sheep now.

Originally Posted by Zachre

Question... should I stop with the metaphors? I mean to me wordplays is the way to know whos a true lyricist, and they come pretty easy to me. But sometimes I feel like I extend them too much. Like that last one, I just get extending the metaphor of evil in general

Hell no...if people can't take it they can't take it but don't change your style and therefore forfit a rap ur proud of

I enjoyed the metaphoric you

Originally Posted by smoothtung

Hell no...if people can't take it they can't take it but don't change your style and therefore forfit a rap ur proud of

What seperates Us apart is what we all fight With. I've Been told at times that I use too many multi syllables
but i like the way It flows...you are you..I personaly like. Metaphors. Over word play. Too much can get played
Out. So keep your self true homie and take. The lead.

Gracias. I just feel like my metaphors might be overlooked or go over some peoples heads. Or they might just not have as great appreciation for them as me.

Honestly sometimes they may go over heads, its something you gota keep doing though, don't let it stop ya. Keep explaining your metaphores and people who pay attention and actually care about good lyrical content and meaning will notice....trust me dawg. I got mad respect for ur style, I get it

Fellas say I'm the illest, *****es say im hotter than a skillet
Youd get to know more about me if you took a visit
Hit me up, I'm at my place, melrose
Though i'm so high I can't feel my cellphone

Call me flavor mgyver, I'm higher, than than a flyin-bird.
Or a sky-diver, don't try-ta, decipher my finest-words.
I'm the best, u heard? Take 5 ta the chest with barbed wire
Assemble a mess of words that set fire to far aspires

I maybe a sinner but never a sin dealer
Just a kid in the business tryna get some benjamins
I flip the script cause you're, pissed at this
I'll just sit back and take one to the head like a scissor kick

Kill for thrill and I count the casualties, but
I count them casually, so if im laid back, when I lay em back, cant you count it as coolin cat?
Refridgerator feline with a B line straight to ya brain,
lyrics leave em layin insane, and im leave em in sayin, get mind ****ed son, and clean up the stain

I just have one note
Coolin cat= refrigerator feline
^maybe the craziest/dopest thing I have ever said hahaha

Originally Posted by Tre_fly

Kill for thrill and I count the casualties, but
I count them casually, so if im laid back, when I lay em back, cant you count it as coolin cat?
Refridgerator feline with a B line straight to ya brain,
lyrics leave em layin insane, and im leave em in sayin, get mind ****ed son, and clean up the stain

I just have one note
Coolin cat= refrigerator feline
^maybe the craziest/dopest thing I have ever said hahaha

"Refrigerator "? I reiterate to illustrate I'm the insulator
Instigator?....maybe but I hatch lines like an incubator.
Your "b-line" can't touch my d-line, you're a "felion" I'm buddy Ryan
I drop gold lines on the goal line and your kind can't control mine

Reiterate > repeated "refridgerator"
Insulator > insulate > to keep warm or warm something (your refrigerator line)
Incubator > hatches eggs
"B line" compared to "d line" >letter grade comparison
D-line, buddy Ryan and goal-line > football reference (buddy Ryan one of the best defensive coaches of all time ha)

Smooth thinks he can score, well "buddy, your lyan/lyin"
Wrote some hack lines tryna catch chicks, but get this
I dont even need eleven, four will do, I'll wrap you up like a fore word dude
The backfield's my battlefield, your dropped lines wont move forward two/too

"Buddy your Lyan/lyin" -Play on Buddy Ryan's name
"hack lines tryna catch chicks" -you said hatch lines like an incubator (self explanatory?)
"Wrap you up like a fore ward dude" -I'll stop you by wrapping up on my tackle, like a fore ward wraps up a book
"Your dropped lines wont move forward two/too" -Dropped lines=D-line, they aint movin sh1t.

NNo hard feelings on this just battlin.

No hard feelings on this. Just battlin

Listen I don't need to score, don't need to force my course.
I'm a coarse force with no recourse but to lean-towards war.
You're sore cuz I "hack" your lines of poor metaphores galoure
No more...
you need eleven... four and you would be screwed.
Dude, give these next iridescent "four-words" their due;
"Un"w(rap)"able like your scripts"...I'm tackled once a blue moon.
Let me drop these "two lines" to "move forward" too soon.
"fly",
Leave you behind in weathered skies to fend for ur life. Why?
Because fine rhymes are my "battlefield", and for that I'll die aight?
Props to your keen eye hah, I am catching chicks kid on a whim
While your online scraping your mind spending hours on this ****
I can roll of a quick hit with just minutes to think of it. dont resist it, give it your best illiterate response d**k

Never hard feelings my man; this is the first battle I've been in, in a minute.

Hmm...

I rarely flip scripts you could say once in a blue moon, but
Beats beat ya body badly with a broken bottle of Labatt Blue you baffoon
^how's that for a 'B-line'? I'm sure it tackled your 'd-line' so define
to me how you only need "two", I count 12, are you a little confused?
maybe about the ladies man? Like tim meadows, dressed in stilettos, obsessed with palmettos
go back to ya candy van with ya brandy in hand, tryna catch kiddies in the ghetto
I may be a **** but at least im not drivin miles to stick mine in juveniles..

Notes:
Line 1: nothing special
Line 2: used B alliteration to set up line three
Line 3: B-line references what i said earlier, d-line references what you said earlier about defensive lines and also calling me a d1ck
Line 4: You said "drop these "two lines" to "move forward" too soon"; you wrote 12 lines
Line 5: Tim meadows played a ladies man in the movie "Ladies Man", I'm saying your the same way but with dudes. Palmettos=little palm trees, "little palms" for short.
Line 6: go back to trying to catch little kids your garbage
Line 7: self explanatory
Also: The children touching thing comes from your line where you say, "I am catching chicks kid on a whim" I'm just twisting your words.

Again no hard feelings, just writing.

I can beat back basterds beaconing amateur status,
And beat beats blindly beaming pinnacle standards...
With this articulation; put ur "alliteration" to obliteration.
My declaration is a reverberation that u took no preperations
The accused ain't "confused" just amused by what u produce..
I approve that you remove "bafoon" and improve dude.

Your "b(ee)-line" goes up in the flames like the **** around my lighter.
Im brighter,
u need notes for it to hit home homie...amatuer writer.
I should limit to Two because twelve is committing murder
Gota quit it maybe limit but I'm a clinically hard worker.

Eat these bars up like a mother****in butterball
I'm just out at bars rollin out like a somersault
Cotton mouth, need oasis, climb the wonderwall
Just another week night and im just gonna ball

Smooth ima come back soon man I just too busy to write some serious sh1t to come back at you with. Maybe tomorrow my man.
Btw, first time I battle after being gone for a while and I already got a good one. Props man, love battling you, no homo hahah.

Originally Posted by Tre_fly

Smooth ima come back soon man I just too busy to write some serious sh1t to come back at you with. Maybe tomorrow my man.
Btw, first time I battle after being gone for a while and I already got a good one. Props man, love battling you, no homo hahah.

Aha no doubt, same here Dawg you got good ****. I get ya..come back whenever