So Happy Togeather..new song...feed back needed..

Okay, this song I wrote for not only my self but for anyone who is married..we all do stupid stuff like lie to our spouse over dumb stuff like I have..at lease I hope I'm not one of a kind...anyways this was writen to a 60's song by the Turtles..lol I am going to make a mixed beat for it sometime...Please let me know what you think...



Hook X2
I scream at you, You scream at me.
No matter how we toss the dice we disagree
the only way is me from you and you from me
to happy together.....

VS1
You Scream at me, and I Scream at you. our kid's lashing out, at me and you,
cause she's confused, and we are too .Through our disagreements, we loose cool.
While she sits in between our feuds, screaming at her to go clean her room!
mind your business and eat your food! leave us! do you here us beat it! move!
when all she wants is me and you, As we've unglued she has too.
But it's not her fault We've lit her fuse. it's our doing that she's Kaboomed..
that’s why She writes on the walls, despite our laws. Talking back at us like she has brass balls.
Defining house rules at all costs, Thinking we love her less than our own dog.
I breaks our heart but she gets off. watching us fight over rights and wrongs.
The same old songs that We've abused, when she's been right about us all along.
we are lost and she is too. she's only 5 mean and crule.
Jesus Flea what are we to do? She acting like she's 13 we are screwed!
Cause....

Hook X2
I scream at you, You scream at me.
No matter how we toss the dice we disagree
the only way is me from you and you from me
to happy together.....



When you get home. I get scorned, After your shift the the list goes on.
Cause I sit alone and can't flip the stones, and whats unturned, We ***** and moan.
Fighting over **** that makes no sense. When bills are do, it gets intense.
cause we don't have a pot to *iss in since, I lost my job every penny's pinched.
staring at our pictures reminiscing. waiting for the day I'll be forgiven.
I sniff them, Press my lips against them and kiss them, gently so I don't rip them.
Feeling like a new toilet bowl that’s just been *hit in, For all the lies I’ve spoken...
so I don't rock the boat you know me, My whole life it's like I've been silent spoken.
hoping you'll catch me with my fly wide open, you assume I’ve cheated nope not even
Felicia I would die before then, your magic potion is all I've ever needed..
I don't want to separate our separate ways ,it takes work ain't no time to play around.
so happy together untill death takes me away that'll be the day that death ends up buried underground.
not going down just because...


Hook X2
I scream at you, You scream at me.
No matter how we toss the dice we disagree
the only way is me from you and you from me
to happy together.....

Well, first thought was: I hope your beautiful daughter doesn't write on your walls, lol. Second thought is that I can recognize myself in this situation, eventhough I have no kids yet. My third thought is that you are an amazing rapper, and I don't even see how we ever got to battle the finals together. In my opinion, you're a real winner. U wrote a good, solid piece again, thank you for sharing it with us.

awww...thanks molo...but don't second geiuss your self...you are dope..funky fresh..kush..I get high of your lyrics...

Don't flatter me too much, u live in the USA and you're married, lol.

Yo Sk'n this was mad deep lol Nahh seriously I feel you in this song you should put it on audio

that is the plan MG that is the plan...just got to find out a way to make this beat...Have you Heard the Turtles before..they are from the 60's lol

I have no right to speak because I was born in the late eighties, but damn. Them Turtles made sense ! And so do you, Sk'n, so do you ...

Rythym jumps around at some points but what are u gunna say when the Guy puts his heart n soul into it? Lyrical content and meaning overwhelm any technical issues. U just can't f**k with it. Great piece skn..again ha

And btw nah I ain't annoyed by feedback requests dawg. U help me I help u mang. That's how it is

Deep, as always ! I love the way you start your verses, we can feel your feelings all the way long ! Keep it up, you need to record that !

PS : It's the second time, i've read that your daughter is writing on your walls ! Artistic Family !

Ha ha thanks. Max .I am glad you enjoyed this. I will be working on the beat soon...

Just for my inquiry, whats the overall message of the rap? If you're trying to capture the essence of you two needing each other or being with each other through everything of the sort?. I could be wrong, but just curious

In the beginning you talk about about your daughter but i feel it would mix well to talk about how you and your wife can handle things with your daughter toward the end of the verse. Keep some of those lines and situations you have and just pick the most important ones or most affective ones and elaborate on them. Tell us why things are the way they are with your daughter to provide some insight to the events youre talking about. When I'm writing and I get into reasons for certain things or explaining by just asking "why" it brings about some new angles to my lyrics.

I like the chorus, some good rhyme schemes goin on. I just didn't quite understand how to flow the last 2 lines.

The second verse is pretty good, raw and real stuff. But if the rap is about how you need your wife and you stick by each other, talk about how you guys plan to come on top of everything or that all you guys need is each other or something. Of course it's cliche but it can relate to the listener and provide a concept easy to grasp.

Good.point steeze... It's left open to interpret for a reason... Like a teaser.. to alow your imagination take you on a journey through my eyes...

Ahh i enjoy using that technique sometimes also. That's also the power of the title of the song. When I saw the title "so happy together" and gives me expectations and a pre-feel for the song already then I read the lyrics and it kind of throws me off a bit.

It's a sarcastic approch..lol.

My man skin always delivers with good music/lines/battles/whatever. Yours always has meaning as well. I have a hard time writing something that means something to me. The only time I've done anything like that and it be any good, was when I wrote about having depression; but skin, you write about personal stuff all the time and it never/rarely takes away from your lyrical flashyness. I'm sure you can guess this or already know, but I love flow and lyrical flashyness when I hear/write raps. I wish i could take my personal life and rap about it, but I feel its something your either good at, or your not. Skin, you got it when it comes to that man, and your no fool with lyrics or flow either. Keep putting the time in, and working towards a home studio or studio time, cause I feel that its all gonna come together for you one day. Props though

Tre. Again thanks for the probs bro... I understand where your coming from but don't sell your self short.. you have the power to write stuff like this aswell. it sits right behind your chest plate pumping insperation though your viens...
The heart .... It can work with. You or against you..it's up to you to make it work for you... It also helps to have friends like you all who show support and love for one such as my self.for that, I am greatfull...