Floating in the Cosmos (please give some feedbacks)

I wrote this verse to illustrate my vision of the world. My feeling of loneliness.

1. Lost in the universe, frost by this sadness curse,
2. Cosmos in a unique verse, I really need a nurse,
3. It hurts, when i see my troubles, me and life we flirt,
4. Stuck in my bubble, drugs are a part of this battle,
5. Flying high like Hubble, i'm watching move the cattle,
6. I'm seeing life in double, while I'm drinking my bottles
7. It become a struggle, I tremble, it become a strangle,
8. Future is fuzzing me, cause no cure is healing me,
9. Pressure is buzzing me, Spaceships surrounding me,
10. I'm an ****ing Alien, and humanity is my worst enemy,
11. I'm a planet they never dare to visit, because I resist,
12. They pull me into a ****ing casket, they didn't hesitate,
13. Floating in emptiness till i collapse, no air, i suffocate,
14. I'm in a ****ing rehab, that's why I'm alone and isolated,
15. Stars are like people to me, they talk like real friends,
16. Candles blowing all over me, while i lose my straight,
17. I'm still sharing my delivery, drunk of their symphony,
18. Always looking at the moon, believing of prophecy,
19. You're time is coming soon, stuck in the life you lead,
20. You're living in a cartoon, I see you need to breath.

yeah yeah it's good man.the title really fits too.i imagined myself up in space as the character a few times.

Thanks man, i'm glad you related to this several times ! This is the goal, taking few life's situations and then working on a metaphor related to the subject !

Very good man, I can relate to some of the stuff you wrote, The first half flows very nicely too but you kind loose it in the second part imo. content/lyrics 8.5/10. Flow/rhymes 7/10

Thanks man ! The thing with flow it's that it's personal, we don't have the same rythme and the samemanipulation of the beat, it varies ! But really, thank you for content note !

first of all keep your bars EQUAL and not ****en SCRAMBLED ALL OVER THE PLACE my example of this would be

1. Lost in the universe, frost by this sadness curse,
2. Cosmos in a unique verse, I really need a nurse,
3. It hurts, when i see my troubles, me and life we flirt,

THE NUMBERS ON THE SIDE ARE THE NUMBERS OF A LINE SO 1 = ONE LINE and etc
right here you have 3 LINES WITH THE RHYME SCHEME OF "FLIRT CURSE NURSE"
but tell me why your 4TH LINE IS A DIFFERENT RHYME SCHEME? SUCH AS

4. Stuck in my bubble, drugs are a part of this battle,

SO IF I'M CORRECT 3 LINES AVE THE RHYME SCHEME OF FLIRT CURSE NURSE WHILE THE FOURTH LINE HAS A RHYME SCHEME OF
BATTLE? REALLY? ARE YOU ****EN SERIOUS BRO? -.- KEEP IT EQUAL NOT UN-ORGANIZED DUDE
IF YOU HAVE 3 LINES OF THE RHYME SCHEME "FLIRT" KEEP THE FOURTH ONE THE SAME ****
don't be stupid this would flow TERRIBLY HORENDUS IN AUDIO so just because you had an ODD NUMBER OF RHYME SCHEME
in other lines you had to kick it up ANOTHER PAIR OF ODD NUMBER OF RHYME SCHEMES SUCH AS

i don't even wanna bother looking your rhyme scheme rhyme set rhyme structure is ****en terrible
so un-organized to the point where i don't even want to look at your mistakes this whole post is a mistake it's self bruh
on top of that THIS WASN'T EVEN SUCH A GREAT ****EN TOPIC
NO WORDPLAY NO RHYME SCHEME NO RHYME STRUCTURE NO PUNCHLINES
NO MULTIES! it's ****en horrible

PUT CHO BARS UP -.-